Written by lainie at 01:40 AM on August 27, 2008.

[ This entry was written during my 2nd day in Dalat, on a borrowed laptop. Was a bit of a surprise for me to find it buried amidst all the photographs from the few days I travelled there, so. Here it is: ]

I think it's been established that I am terrible at getting off boats. Ask anyone who's tried it with me, the amount of nervousness and near-boat tipping I inspire is very real, and nobody wants to fall into the rivers of Dalat. Sure, you see children gleefully playing in it all the time, but jambans (outhouses) line the river, and everything expelled in the jamban plonks through a hole in the ground straight into the water.

You get used to the constant sound of the river and leaves being rustled by the wind, very quickly.

I'm in Kampung Kekan, (possibly) in Dalat, in Sarawak, in Malaysia, in Asia, in Earth, in a place where it doesn't feel too tired to write this way. The pace is a lot slower here. Those of us used to sleeping just before the sun rises back in KL find ourselves yawning here by 10pm, and sound asleep before midnight.

This was before the boat got full, even. When I could still pivot and take photos around me.

In Dalat, boats are an everyday affair. First, it's a two hour long cramped speedboat ride from Sibu. On my left, a sweaty man smushed up against me, finding space on the narrow bench that barely fit my hand before. On my right, Tei had knocked off, sleeping soundly over the waves, the occasional cool breeze that enters and breaks the stifling heat. We had so many bags from other passengers in front of us, I literally could not move my feet for an hour. I was eventually lulled to sleep too. Somewhere out there exists a photo of Tei and I, sleeping with our mouths open while the boat sped down the river.

I joined him right after this picture.

When I later found space to walk, I made my way out, to the top of the boat. A boatman was sitting there, shirt flapping open in the wind. He gestured - I had to hold onto the bar he did, or risk falling off. We had a very broken conversation in Mandarin, where it was established I am from Ipoh, Dalat is an hour away, the scenery is very pretty, and my Mandarin is utter balls.

I had earlier been advised not to pet any "logs floating upstream", as they may turn out to be crocodiles. I presumed the presence of children bathing in the river at least said something about its safety from predators, and the snarkiness of my companions. Later that night, we passed by a meter-long crocodile (our driver said "alligator") roadkill, the first time we headed back to our place to sleep. And no, it was not a mutant monitor lizard or iguana. I'm not sure how the presence of crocodiles and children works in favour of the children. Crocodile snackies?

People tell us about animals here. How there were always otters, hornbills, kingfishers, monkeys, birds. And just when I was thinking, it'd be nice to see a family of otters walk by, they say this is a rare occurence. Sarawak, even the really outback areas, is no longer filled with animals. Kingfishers, sensitive to their environment, do not fly by anymore. It's sad when Sarawak of all places, is losing its primary jungle - to palm tree plantations.

There are, however, cicadas. Seeing them here, huge, black and scary (to me), I realised Ipoh used to get cicadas during certain months of the year, and an occasional kingfisher used to perch outside my bedroom - no longer.

Tei took this picture. Me, about to eat a Melanau kid.

I'm distracted from writing because the Melanau child who's latched on to us the past two days just called Tei a pondan. She can't tell if Tei's a female or male, and somehow this is important. I'm sitting in a blue wooden house built on stilts (Astro dish appended to the side). A Melanau lady who lives alone has agreed to take us into her home for the next few days. Her niece is the child who's taken a shine to us - I've been identified as a ready source of sugar, and from the moment I gave her a roll of pink bubble gum, I had her attention.

The Melanau lady is telling us she's Bumi - but a second class Bumi, after the Malays.She's talking about how heritage is difficult to trace amongst the Melanau, because by a patronymic system like the Malays, they take on their father's name. You can however tell which tribe someone is from based on their names. eg: Ngau is a Kayan name, and Bulan a Murut name.

Yes, sunsets here are gorgeous. Pic by Tei.

I can feel the ground move beneath me. The house sways with the land, and everything around it. It feels like a mild hallucination when nothing in the house is completely still. The water in the glass ahead of me has been constantly moving slightly, like a calm sea in a cup reminding me of this.

As for my friends - Tei is here, with her videocamera. Another two, Steph and Lou, are here to write a book. Lou's a marine biologist (specialising in marine mammals), and I think I'm in love with her camera kit. I'm the unofficial bumaround, triggerhappy with my camera, eager to purchase tuak and willing to eat everything. Tei has noticed I'm quite unabashed when invited to try anything under the tag of "local culture". And I've discovered my camera has a strand of hair on its CCD, which introduces a blemish in some of the photos I take, but I'm not really concerned.

Our first dinner here was a drive out to Oya, a seafood restaurant where we had umai (raw fish accompanied with sago pellets), seafood and satay. It was so dark out by the sea, we couldn't really see our food. Asides from the umai, most of the dishes seemed cooked with either salt, chillies, or a combination of both.

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[ And this was written a day before I left Dalat ]

In a little boat ride wayyyy down the lonely river (Sungai Ud), which we're visiting for a dip in the dark, clean water, I see a dark shadow dart just a few feet away, low amongst the greenery.

Lainie: HOLY. What was that? Monkey. Someone say that was a monkey. Monkey?
Tei: An alligator.....
Louisa: An alligator......
Lainie: ........

Now. You're on an unsteady boat. There are no other boats around. The only land near you is the jungle or the bottom of the river, and civilisation is nowhere nearby. You've just learned there is at least one alligator around. At this moment, there are some things you don't want to hear, such as

[ Cue: Thunder ]

We looked up, looked forward, and I think we got out of that area in about a quarter of the time it took for us to get in.

--

sebenarnya bukan buaya.

I will write about Dalat when I'm done sorting through photographs. NGRAHHHH!

Written by lainie at 10:18 AM on August 26, 2008.

Ipoh readers, ya itu aunty-aunty, uncle-uncle dan rakan ria Ipoh-mali sekalian,

If you do not know this man, some of you will probably be meeting him, soon. He's a redemptorist priest I met in Dalat, Sarawak. Father Pat Massang, also known as the Singing Priest (he released an album titled Church By The River).

When I met Father Pat in Dalat (Sarawak), he told me he'd be transferred to Our Mother of Perpetual Help church in Ipoh Garden soon.

He also announced during mass that I was from the Beijing Olympics but returned to Dalat as I couldn't get any medals....He should be in Ipoh by now. He has a fun sense of humour, I think it'll keep things interesting .

Am now sorting through a few gigabytes worth of Dalat photos.

Written by lainie at 08:35 AM on August 24, 2008 in Friends, Holidays / Road Trip, Arty stuff.

Pimping website: If you have any interest in Malaysian issues, you should know of The Nut Graph by now. It's not so much a news site, as one that sums up the important issues - regardless of whether they make headlines in newspapers. I didn't dare to hope it was true when I read their editorial policy, which claims many things I would like to see in the media, but it'd be really really cool if they stick to it.

There's much to explore in the website, and I'm currently checking out Danny Lim's photos of Permatang Pauh. He's a friend, but he was one of my favourite photographers way before I met him, and still is. You have to check out photo #9: PKR built a bloody cannon, cracked me up.

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My third day in Singapore began with meeting the Sayoni people - except I didn't know where, when, or who. I had sheepishly told June and Sylvia I only had Kelly's first name.

Fortunately, some circles being small as they are, I asked Kat to get it for me, and within a short time, I had both Kelly's old and current mobile number keyed into mine. KL, Singapore, pffft. Barely any distance within the social circles.

Met Anj and Kelly of Sayoni. Kat took the pic for me. Looks like I'll be meeting them soon for Seksualiti Merdeka weekend in Annexe soon.

Kelly invited me to Le Chasseur, a Chinese restaurant with a French name (sounds like Le Charsiew to me, so hey!). Made a mental note that this place claims to serve food without MSG - it'll come in very handy for some people I know.

They wanted to take me to a vegetarian restaurant but settled for this, in case I returned with reports of evil vegetarian Singaporeans. I quite liked the claypot chicken rice here, and was surprised to hear from Anj and Kelly that there's an increasing trend of people not eating pork because of the way the meat tastes. I don't identify.

I actually like vegetarian food (and am supplied with many bad lesbian vagitarian jokes, har har har), so I told them it's okay to go to one next time. Kelly's a Singaporean foodie, and looked a bit mortified when I told her I'd been eating at convenient places, which usually happen to be a food court . Sorryla, blur Malaysian in your territory.

I had once remarked to Kat I seldom have photos of myself on holidays, and woah. Kat's been taking pics of me, I've never had these many photos of myself. We were walking towards the MRT station to meet Adri. Adri gave me directions, and obviously I screwed up.

Kat and I got out at the wrong stop and had to take the MRT twice. Kat not happy with Lainie.

Me, walking with Adri around Singapore's Little India. If you read her blog, you'll know Adri's heart is Indian (or in the hands of a certain travelling girl, depending how you look at it), so it's no surprise than when she's in Singapore, she can be found in Little India.

 

At a mamak with Adri, Niki and Kat. It felt like I was in a part of Brickfields where all the people were too posh to drive local cars.

Tea break at a secret Nepali restaurant. It was nice to see a more underground side of Singapore (no subway jokes, please). This is a place where Nepalese people can have some homecooked food. No license = can't make further details available, sorry. As Adri put it, don't reckon the Nepalese people will be too pleased if they lost their lil home away from home, much less because of some blogger.

After hanging out at Little India, Adri had to go for soundcheck at 72-13 for her reading later at one of queer festival Indignation's events, ContraDiction IV.

The reading had refreshments provided, with names like cut cock (roast chicken), cherries (pop!), S&Ms (Skittles and M&Ms). Singaporeans know spreads can be a whole lotta fun, I see .

 After her soundcheck we went for happy hour at Brussel Sprouts.

Kat took this photo.

 And this one. That could be Adri's "scheming world domination" look.

 Niki's happiest when there's dessert in front of her.

 Back to Indignation. In the time we took to drink a beer, the place had filled up. So many people! Response for reading / queer events is really good in Singapore.

I'd arrived just in time to catch Yi-Sheng's performance, followed by him stripping, and putting on cone bra / horns. Well, looks like the night was off to quite a start at least.

 Interpretive dance with poetry.

Iris Judotter performing some songs. I like her voice. People were still coming in at this point. Somewhere along the lines I told my friend that "If one more girl with strange hair, boybeater top, big belt and boots walks in, this place will spontaneously combust".

Yes, more did come in dressed in the International Dyke Uniform, and no spontaneous combustions were noticed - except in my head.

Chris Ho read "Sex by Nationality". Singaporeans have to submit what they're reading to be approved by the government before they can perform in public (somewhat like our theatre scene - scripts have to be approved). If I recall correctly, he said he was going to show with his reading that the gov's getting more open minded, because they approved his provocative piece.

It was about this Borneo boy he shagged, erections and how jungle boys are so much better than Singaporean boys. I thought it was entertaining. He ended with a joke: He is not gay. Not at all. He only pretends to be gay to get into reading fiction like this.

While it seems like an elbow-nudge joke everyone should understand, I couldn't help but feel it took away from his proclamations. He's right though, I concur Borneo boys are generally cuter than Semenanjung boys (and I include Singapore in this generalisation).

Adri read next. It's like she had her personal fanclub there, what with the cheering like a mini stadium for her. She read "Why I am Still a Feminist". I must have had a look on my face when she told me earlier (she blogged that I rolled my eyes). She asked if that was a dyke thing to do, and I said it was sooooo dyke. Then she read a poem (also in her blog). I liked hers.

I also liked the last reading, after Adri's. A bitchy playful script of four men quoting Sex and The City while looking for real love. Entertaining, the way four catty people can be.

The complete list of people who read (unlikely you will ever see this in KL, I reckon):

[ Curated by Jasmine Seah and Ng Yi-Sheng ]

1. Ng Yi-Sheng - Invocation
2. Teng Qian Xi, Standing Figure, Crossings at the Green Man, The
Evolution of Language
3. Zhuang Yisa, Dog Lovers, the Tough Guys, I Sit to Write This Letter of Hurt
Pi: Chrystal Yang - My Definition, Ink on Skin, In Response to the Amended
4. Yen Feng and Chan Sze-Wei - Poem beginning with a line by a dying
man, Out of our eyes like Butterflies, Fragile grave
5. Iris Judotter (first sequence)
6. Dominic Chua - Three Sundays On, Psalm Concerning the Heartland
7. Austin Zeng - Silence
8. Nicholas Deroose- The Singaporean Dream
9. Koh Jee Leong - Head, Roof of the Mouth, Jaws and the Jaw-hinges,
Temples, Forehead, Chin, The Finger-Nails
10. Jasmine Seah - I'm Not A Very Good Gay, In the City
11. Iris Judotter (second sequence)
12. Lee Yew Leong - Key West, 2008, Knowledge Can Change Your Fate
13. Chris Ho - Sex By Nationality
14. Adrianna Tan - Why I Am Still A Feminist
15. Jacke Chye - The Pot Luck Club

There were some good readings there tonight, though I have to say that overall it came out average to me. It might be weird to have soooo many readings, and like them all, but I've attended excellent readings by Singaporeans in KL, which raised my expectations. Perhaps not the fairest basis for comparison.

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After the readings, June and Sylvia brought me to the lesbian clubbing night they promised me - it was lesbian night at a club called Play. They were giving away prizes when I arrived, some food coupons or equivalent gift of non-interest to me. The place was packed! Then the prize-giving was over, the emcee was done yellin into the mic, the international guest dj lady started spinning, the music was pumping annnnnnnnnnd.......Zip.

Nothing happened.

It. Was. So. Weird. Okay.

A club packed with people dressed all trendy, buying booze and doing nothing. I have never been this tempted to call a whole group of people posers, simply because they hardly seemed to be doing anything else. No wait. There were about 10-15 people on the dancefloor, but don't Singaporean lesbians dance for any reason beyond showing off the girl they're with?

Was I at the wrong place to have some fun? Singaporeans don't really party? Lesbians don't really party? I am too used to the crazy wankers in Loft? I left before the club shut, usually a good way to gauge that I wasn't totally feeling the place. Still, kudos to the Singaporean scene for the excellent turn out, but not happening enough on the fun factor the night I went.

Overall, quite an interesting day. A look at their arts scene, a taste of Singaporean clubbing scene, meeting the Sayoni people, a secret Nepali restaurant and cheap booze during happy hour at a Belgian(?) restaurant, meeting many lesbians...Was pretty tired by the time I hit the bed.

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Met Niki the next day over her lunch break - she wanted to take me to a restaurant called Inle Myanmar Restaurant (liked the tamarind prawns!). She took some photos of me, but I feel strange posting up more photos of myself (despite the many usericons I use on this blog), and you guys already know what I look like, kan?

Saw this guy trying to win fluffy soft toys from these machines, which instantly made him cuter. Er. This should not be mistaken for me finding him attractive or shaggable.

Singapore has Hooters? I know they have a "family-friendly" version of the restaurant, which seems relatively pointless to me, but the magazine?

I've not read porn mags much, except the stash I found at home when I was a kid, left behind by the previous owner. That, and flipping through magazines in Australia as a young teenager, while my parents had lunch and ignored what they knew I was up to. Not my thing at all, porn magazines.

 

After lunch at Inle, Niki wanted me to try some wonderful dessert at Zambuca, an Italian restaurant in Pan Pacific Hotel (joined to the mall Inle was in). The staff at Zambuca were very accomodating, even offering to take a photo of Niki and I for us.

I had these chocolate dumplings. I liked them, but I feel kinda bad that I can't remember what they were called .

This is what Niki had insisted we come for. Warm chocolate cake with (honey?) ice cream. She insisted I take the first bite, but I'm so alien to desserts I promptly made a much bigger mess than I foresaw as possible with cake and spoon.

And this is why she wanted me to take the first bite - a surprise of melting chocolate inside the cake! Big sacrifice for Niki, really.I sent a picture of this dessert to Smile after I came back to KL and she nearly died.

This is my last food outing in Singapore before jumping onto a bus - not bad huh? Niki is new to Singapore, but she knows where to get her desserts. I suspect the next time I'm back in Singapore, her list of places to go for sweet things will have lengthened .

Niki had to head back to the office, so she dropped me off with my friends. I had a bit of time to kill before heading to the bus station, and Kat was supposed to meet us.

I realise pics in this post of Adri don't really show her face. This is to confirm that she does have one / I do not slash her face out of pictures in my spare time.....(turns away to hide blank psychotic look). I'm just kidding. I do public psychoness.

[ Was supposed to meet her last night at a party, but she wasn't feeling well ]

Now, as far as I know, Adri is usually late (or near late) for her buses, trains, planes - whatever she has a ticket for. I know this.

So why the heck we made her timekeeper for when I would leave for the bus station, I'm not sure, but the obvious happened - I ended up running up Novena's stairs, answering Kat's panicky phonecall warning me the bus is disembarking, pounding my way towards the bus stop through the crowd of shoppers, Adri running ahead and navigating.

I made it.

I liked how I went through bag-check in Singapore customs, but in KL...There were two lines to go through.

1) Duty to declare

2) No duty to declare

We casually walked by because no personnel was there to give a shit. I guess this is a regular occurence since some poeple didn't even bother to bring their luggage for inspection.

Have you heard that joke about Mas Selamat, the most-wanted terrorist fugitive who escaped from detention in Singapore? His wanted posters are everywhere in Singapore.

Mas Selamat is in Malaysia. Because when you enter Malaysia, it says Selamat Datang.

They should hang that in the Malaysian customs.

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So that was my entire trip in Singapore! I'm glad I went, I enjoyed it a lot. Next up, posts about trip to Dalat. I think my body still thinks it's in Dalat.