So I had an interesting meeting with my first line manager a couple weeks ago.  He had mentioned that my performance in the first quarter was poor and my metrics were the worst out of my team and my support center.

He then asked me if I wanted to switch teams within our center (security, installation, performance).

He then told me that basically upper management is extremely disappointed in my work / efforts.  They believe that they took a risk in hiring me because of my lack of experience and because I got the worst performance rating in my last year as a consultant.  They thought I would come into this job with guns blazing.  But they didn't get what they were expecting.

I could tell my manager was frustrated with me.  Even though he said I'm technically doing my job, I still wasn't as competitive as my peers.  They expect that I deliver tech documents or code tools that help everyone in our center.  They want us to go "above and beyond" the call of duty and I simply wasn't cutting it.

So I am in a dilemma.  I have 3 options:

1.  Stay with our API support team and some how miraculously exceed all negative perceptions and expectations.  

2.  Transfer to a support team but will need to learn and deal with the same upper management.

3.  Leave my company.

I have been leaning towards option 3.  Now I love my company and everything it stands for, but I believe it's in my best interest to take what I've learned and apply it somewhere else.  I've learned many things the hard way (getting several negative feedback, comments, and assessments) that I've come to realize maybe IT and the technology field is just not right for me.  Maybe I'm just not a technical person and I don't have the necessary drive and passion needed to get beyond my inexperience.  Maybe I'm just not interested any more.  Maybe I'm jaded because of my assessments.  Maybe I'm not as competitive as I thought I once was.

Whatever the case maybe, I have a strong feeling that I'm coming to the end of the road.  

I've decided to look into different jobs, but man it is so hard.  With all the graduating seniors entering the job market, it is difficult to snatch any entry level position.  And considering I don't want to continue in IT, it looks like entry level anything is where I need to start.  

So I thought it would be good to put all of this on my tabulas so that I hopefully I can come back to this entry and reflect on how uncertain things can be.  I'm doing my best to full my full faith and confidence on where God wants me to go, but I know I can't just sit around and wait for a job to be placed in my lap.  

I am determined to find something.  ANYTHING.  And preferably not IT-related .  (Is that a cyborg, roy?) 

So out of fun I looked at MindTouch's website and I noticed that they did not mention Roy.  What's up with that?  Roy's doing all the work and he gets no love.

If you go to http://mindtouch.com/company , they list the "executive" team.  I think Roy deserves to be there, considering the company's size.  Without Roy, they would be nothing!

Steve Bjorg
Co-founder, President and CTO

Steve has over 10 years of experience in software development and product design. He previously founded a company in Liechtenstein, Europe. Steve also worked at Microsoft for the CTO's advanced development team tackling concurrency, distributed systems, and the evolution of web-standards.

Aaron Fulkerson
Co-founder, COO

Aaron has extensive experience in leveraging technology to meet the needs of information workers. He has architected and developed information hubs in diverse environments ranging from elite research teams at Microsoft to impoverished inner-city communities. His management and operational experience spans more than a decade across several industries.

Mark Kurtz
Vice President of Sales and Marketing

Mark is a 16-year veteran of high-tech technology sales and marketing. Before joining MindTouch, Mark was the national director of business development for the Garrigan Lyman, a strategic marketing agency. Mark co-founded Total Transaction Management, a middleware technology company based in Singapore after spending 7 years at Attachmate Corporation.

Urs Muff
Co-founder, Senior Architect

Urs has fourteen years of experience in software development and product design. He previously founded a company in Liechtenstein, Europe, where he led the development team for several products. Urs has lived in several countries, including Switzerland, Liechtenstein, and the United States. He is fluent in German and English.

EDIT:  

Roy Kim

Founder of Rykorp, Programming "Pimp" (I know HTML, without ME it would just be AWESO, YOUR RETARDED, Got tickets to the gun show, etc.)

Roy has created popular websites Tabulas, Listfoo, Audiomatch, fuunk, and the former lightbox7.  He has bachelors degrees in Chemistry and Economics from UNC Chapel Hill.  He has leveraged and synergized his programming skills for MindTouch development, and he continues to increase value-add and marketablility to the firm. 

You see???  He needs to be in there!  Roy, go complain dude.  You have every right to be on the company's website! 

So out of fun I looked at MindTouch's website and I noticed that they did not mention Roy.  What's up with that?  Roy's doing all the work and he gets no love.

If you go to http://mindtouch.com/company , they list the "executive" team.  I think Roy deserves to be there, considering the company's size.  Without Roy, they would be nothing!

Steve Bjorg
Co-founder, President and CTO

Steve has over 10 years of experience in software development and product design. He previously founded a company in Liechtenstein, Europe. Steve also worked at Microsoft for the CTO's advanced development team tackling concurrency, distributed systems, and the evolution of web-standards.

Aaron Fulkerson
Co-founder, COO

Aaron has extensive experience in leveraging technology to meet the needs of information workers. He has architected and developed information hubs in diverse environments ranging from elite research teams at Microsoft to impoverished inner-city communities. His management and operational experience spans more than a decade across several industries.

Mark Kurtz
Vice President of Sales and Marketing

Mark is a 16-year veteran of high-tech technology sales and marketing. Before joining MindTouch, Mark was the national director of business development for the Garrigan Lyman, a strategic marketing agency. Mark co-founded Total Transaction Management, a middleware technology company based in Singapore after spending 7 years at Attachmate Corporation.

Urs Muff
Co-founder, Senior Architect

Urs has fourteen years of experience in software development and product design. He previously founded a company in Liechtenstein, Europe, where he led the development team for several products. Urs has lived in several countries, including Switzerland, Liechtenstein, and the United States. He is fluent in German and English.

EDIT:  

Roy Kim

Founder of Rykorp and Programmer Pimp (I know HTML, without ME it would just be AWESO, YOUR RETARDED, Got tickets to the gun show, etc.)

Roy has created popular websites Tabulas, Listfoo, Audiomatch, fuunk, and the former lightbox7.  He has a bachelors degree in Chemistry and Economics from UNC Chapel Hill.  He has leveraged and synergized his programming skills for MindTouch development, and he continues to increase value-add and marketablility to the firm. 

You see???  He needs to be in there!  Roy, go complain dude.  You have every right to be on the company's website! 

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Traveling sucks.  I want to go home after work.  I'd rather hit an hour of I-85's horrific traffic then to travel a total of 6 hours every Monday and Thursday.  Aish...I'm living the "dream" alright. 

What dream job would you like to have?

 

Because I saw Roy twice last weekend, I am confident that Tabulas is the hawtest online blogger ever created.

Xanga is all about drama.  People get offended and hurt just because of it.  

Tabulas is all about fun.  Roy Kim produces the hawt ish.

I will use Tabulas as my FIRST blogger, then crosspost to CRAPanga.  

Go Tab.  Go Roy.