We’re Too Young

Posted by eirene83 at 01:29 PM on July 25, 2008 in Personal as a stickied post.

(In loving memory)

25.12.1953 – 5.4.2008

3 onigiri

Karma

Posted by eirene83 at 09:06 PM on September 28, 2008 in Library, Thoughts, Personal.

Once upon a time, there lived a student named Kong Lu. He was engaged to be married. However, his soon-to-be wife left him for another man just days before the day of the wedding.

            It destroyed Lu when he found out, so much so that he fell gravely ill in bed. Nothing anyone said, or did helped. Doctors came from all around to try to cure him, but he remained bed ridden. It was obvious to everyone that Lu didn’t have much longer to live.

            Around this time, a traveling monk passed through town seeking food and shelter. He’d been turned down by five houses before arriving at the Kong household. It’d been a long journey for him. The Kong family respectfully took the monk in and offered him steamed buns and hot tea, and also a bed to sleep in for the night. During dinner, the monk learned of Lu’s situation from his mother. He decided he would stay and help.

The monk approached the bed-ridden student, and pulled out a mirror from his robe. The monk asked the student to look into the mirror. What the student saw in the mirror was a tumultuous ocean. There was something on the beach. It was a woman’s body, lying there. A woman no one knew. Poor woman, thought Lu.

Just then, a man walked past the woman’s body, shook his head in disgust, and went on his way.  A little later, a second man walked by the woman on the beach. He stopped for a moment, took off his jacket, covered her body out of respect, and went on his way.

A third man walked by the body and stopped. He knelt by the deceased and prayed for her. He then dug a grave, and buried her body. He carved a headstone and placed it at her grave. Every year, on the same day, the man would bring food and burn incense as offering for her at her gravesite.

The scenery in the mirror changed. Now the student saw his fiancée, on her wedding day. Her red wedding veil was lifted by another man. It was the man she left Lu for. This image made Lu angry and sad. He didn’t understand what it all meant.

The monk explained, “The dead woman on the beach was the woman you almost married, in her previous life. You were the second person who walked by, the one who covered her dead body with your clothes. It was very kind of you to do so. The love she shared with you in this life was her way of repaying you for your kindness in the previous life. In the end, however, she owed a great debt to the man who buried her body, and cared for her gravesite year after year, all for a total stranger. She will spend the rest of her life with that man in this lifetime.”

“Her soul decided on these courses of action prior to her being born. Everything is decided before we arrive in our physical bodies. Such is karma. And when one understands karma, there can be no suffering, because one knows there’s a purpose behind every action, and reaction. Debts are constantly repaid, and love constantly shared. It’s a beautiful web of life we weave. So cherish what you have, and the people who love you. Be kind to all, because karma is at work.”

The student didn’t say a word. He understood. When he woke up the next day, he was well again. He got out of bed and went to see his parents. He cried and told them that he was grateful for having them in his life. Lu never felt happier.

The monk told the family it was time for him to depart. The family steamed warm buns for him to take on the road, as he had a long journey ahead of him.

Lu thanked the monk for saving his life.

“No, thank you,” said the monk.

A surprised Lu asked, “Thank me? What for?”

“You see my son, I had a dream last night. In that dream, I saw myself in another life. In that life, you provided me with food and shelter in my time of dire need, when you had so little for yourself. So I thank you. And I’m once again indebted to you, and your family for your generosity. For providing food and shelter when no one else would, so that I can continue my mission of spreading the teachings of Buddha. It is a debt I hope I can repay next time around.” With that said, the monk smiled, and continued on his journey.

1 onigiri

Go and Come Back Safely

Posted by eirene83 at 01:51 AM on September 26, 2008 in Personal.

I recalled today this scene:

A woman in a kimono, bowing as her husband left and wishing his back, "Itterasshai." [Generally means take care; see you later]

It was from a Korean sci-fi movie someone had lent me many many years ago; I can't remember the name of the movie now or much of the plot... But to this day, that scene sticks because it was so poignant. She knew her husband wasn't or couldn't ever come back... yet she still wished him 'itterasshai'.

Tis a bittersweet thing... Sending someone off knowing they'll never come back.

And having to bring someone back when you didn't even know you were sending them off.

She always said she wanted to come home. I just never thought it would be this way.

Fruits Basket!

6 Months

Posted by eirene83 at 11:33 PM on September 24, 2008 in Personal.

It's been nearly half a year now... It doesn't feel like it was that long ago. But it actually has been 6 months since I've last heard my mom's voice and seen her face. It doesn't seem like it was that long... I guess we've just all gotten into the routine of going to work, coming back, making sure the house is clean and willing the weekend away so we can just all get back to work and not have to face the house without her in it.

Not exactly living per se... Just coping one day at a time. And I think that's the best we can manage because there isn't actually any way we can 'get over this' like a friend of mine told me to do. I just feel somewhat insulted everytime that person tells me to move on, my mom's in a better place, just go out and do something. Maybe it's that simple for him since he's not even close to his parents... but for me, I feel offended.

The pain is there, deep inside. It doesn't hurt if I don't poke at it but I know it's there... And I know it won't ever go away. And when I think of how my mom asked us to let her come home when she was in the hospital, I never once thought I would be bringing her back in a coffin. And that tears me inside.

1 onigiri

Bye Bye

Posted by eirene83 at 05:05 PM on August 11, 2008 in Music - Songs & Lyrics, Personal.

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

1 onigiri

050408

Posted by eirene83 at 03:00 PM on April 10, 2008 in Personal.

There are things and incidents that occur over the period of a year that sticks with you and well, today I truly feel 25.

I'll always remember this date for the rest of my life. The incident today... It's like something that's only supposed to happen in the movies; something that you watch on TV... Not have it happen to you. Because when it does happen, it just feels surreal.

I don't want it to be real. Because as contradictory as it may sound, I have accepted it but I just don't want it to be real. And I still want to wake up from it all and think it's just a dream.

2 onigiri

Posted by eirene83 at 01:45 PM on April 4, 2008.

I wonder if I'm the only person who uses 'Mom' rather than 'Mum'...

I've never quite liked spelling it with a "u"... Somehow it doesn't quite warm to the heart as compared to saying mom. But it seems like rather more people tend to use 'mum' rather than 'mom' so sometimes it makes me wonder if that's actually the correct spelling for it or whether if it's just individual preference.

Besides, 'mum' just reminds me of the saying 'keeping mum' rather than mother figure.

6 onigiri

I Wanna Go Home

Posted by eirene83 at 12:32 PM on April 3, 2008.

Today just isn't my day.

First of all, I left the house a bit later than usual but could have still gotten to the office on time. Except the monorail I was on experienced 'technical difficulties' just 2 stations later.

We all had to get off and wait for the next train... That's like one whole trainload of people there... So of course, the next train that came was almost completely packed and with my train's people trying to push in as well, the situation was really ugly.

Same with the train after that. Completely packed and more people trying to be sardines.

Third train of course just had to be not in service.

By the time the fourth train came, I was wondering why I had been so stupid standing there when I could have crossed to the opposite platform, taken the train back to the terminal and head back. Just 2 stations, guaranteed a seat and no pushing and squeezing and definitely didn't have to wait for so many different trains to pass me by.

Thank goodness gracious, the 5th and final train was almost practically empty either because there's no one left at the terminal or maybe management decided to send out an extra train to help remedy the situation.

I knew I should had taken the car this morning...

2 onigiri