Ok, so I have been busy lately. Yea and one primary reason is because I happen to survive my first week at work. *cheers* Oh and I have a lot of so-called "introspections" because of it which I will be probably write about soon after I finish many killer deadlines.

For now I would really want to just be light and talk about some stuff. Mm. It was when I was watching "In Her Shoes" that I chanced upon a certain line and realized how it reflected my withdrawn attitude lately.

"He likes to sound detached because deep down he knows how painful it is to lose."

Riiight.

Anyway, after a looong wait I have finally had a chance to watch One Three Hill Season 5. So yea, there were spoilers everywhere but I watched it with a clean slate. Just some random thoughts:

* I hate Lucas! I hate how Lucas can look into a girl's eyes, lie and tell her he loves you. Or maybe not lie but honestly he is more fickle minded than the girls! He is such a mess. And not to mention, sooo confused. I would've fallen in love with you but you dont show the discernment to know who is. There is just one comet you know? Lol.

* I can identify with Peyton being an overthinker, worrier, overanalyzer and suspicious. I chuckled during the "lucky bamboo scenes" because I thought that Lindsey smells fishy indeed. And I would definitely stand up, fight for and be side by side with my "Brookes" in life. Oooh and I love her intentions and aspirations with regard to her purpose in life. It's not all business you see?

* Brooke is such a true friend. She is just about any girl would envy of. Well, at least I would. Lovely clothes. Overwhelming success. Big heart. Fame. What is amazing is how she can turn down all of these for simple thrills and sources of happiness. She opts to settle to Three Hill and displays the yearning to help and love. She is one in a million.

* I luuurve Jaime! Cute, smart and refreshing.

* Nathan is sooo hot. So phleg husband (well except for the temper or I think Im classifying him because I want him that way? Haha.). I dont like it when he hides something. It just complicates everything. But then I think I wouldnt mind being tamed by someone like him. Haha. Bad boy turned family man of some sort. He makes his wife feel sooo beautiful.

* Haley, haley, haley! Ang ganda mo na. Un lang. Haha.

* Ew to Debbie. Looks and acts so pervy. 

* I pity Dan Scott. Grrr. Everytime he is badly treated by anyone especially his sons, my heart is torn apart. Everyone deserves chances right? Ok sige considering mga ginawa before but still, he is family. And he is trying to change. At certain scenes I would secretly wish he will do something really bad para mawalan ako ng amor sa kanya. Haiii.

* I crush Dr. Ethan.

* Lindsey looks like Paris Hilton but a manly face version. *apir Peyton*

*I love the scene when they incorporate the previous OST. Especially with Jaime singing. So adorable. I would stand firm in telling that I like it better than the new one. When I hear, it sets my mood in to watching OTH and soon after LSS. Lol.  

Haley to Lucas: The moment you think love is overrated is the moment you are wrong.

BUZZ! 

Wrong answer. Love is overrated. :D    

RED ALERT!

Grabe it's BREAK UP SEASON again! That, by the way, is a term coined by me and Ailsa during our highschool days. Surprisingly, we observed there is such thing. Pag may isang nagbreak, parang sunod sunod na. Haha. Crazy eh? But it is so infectious! Really. Even I (loveless) become sad. Bluer than ever.

And so I ask.. Lovelife, is there life in love? Haha. Blech.

Summer 2008 is a blast! It is not exactly the ideal summer vacation I wanted wherein I am able to go to Baguio alone to soul search, go to beaches and visit my grandmother in Pangasinan. This summer I was busy teaching street kids. I was also on high since I attended 5 camps- 2 of them as a camper; 3 as a counsellor. So I concluded it is a blast since I think it is a time well spent.

Today, I spent the entire time lurking at my friend's (used to be professor) blog. I had time too to read my previous blog entries. But before having that chance, I thought I am so impatient. I felt nothing has change. Pero pagkabasa ko ng mga pinagsusulat ko dati, I realized I only feel as if nothing ever changed but as I look back a lot of things really did changed. Haha so redundant.

Pero nakakalungkot lang din because I know deep within ung mga angst at worries ko na iba dati ay ganun pa din. Although at some point I know nag-alter. It goes to show that God is dealing with me and answering my prayers before. Kaya lang mabagal kasi matigas lang talaga ulo ko sa ilang bagay.

Things that I am continuously asking my Lord: I pray that God will fill the hole in my heart. I pray that people that matter will see me through , know me and love me as me. I pray for patience and peace of mind.

I know my God is a very personal God. He knows how to deal with me in a very special way. I sing "All I need is YOU".

Things are not always what it appears to be. You know how people say that there are two sides of the coin? Flipping it wont always give you heads. Or tails. There are probabilities. You cant always expect one outcome and be fixated.

When you offer a child fries daily, two possibilities can happen. Either he will get use to it and would demand fries for the consecutive days or he will curse the taste forever. One is not better than the other. Consider the context equipped with it.

Individuals sometimes feel righteous. And at times, they really are. They will consequently affect others and encourage them to be the same. There will be instances, however, that it gets into their heads making them judgmental. It blinds them from their flaws and lets them see only one thing --- the fact that they are far ahead from the rest. Ironically? They are not.

There are a lot of things I learned from life these past few months. People wont always understand you. Others determine your attitude towards them. I discovered that you cant be constricted to heads or tails alone all the time. Sometimes, its inevitable to have a third option because they can make you really frustrated and so you decide to be just indifferent.

Because this is my blog and I can write anything, I will. *evil laugh*

*You made me feel bad. Hindi makapal ang mukha ko. Marunong akong tumanaw ng utang na loob sa mga dapat. I know who helped me along the way and I love and appreciate them. Alam ko kung saan ilulugar ang sarili ko. I was close to trying to rebuild our relationship again because you are very dear to me but this happened again. Hindi lang iisa ang subject ko. Hindi lang iisang ang ginagawa ko. Madaming nangyayari sa buhay ko na hindi mo alam because you never cared to ask. Im just fed up right now.

*I dont know why it is a big deal to you now. You never considered my opinion before tapos ngayon sasabihin mo you suddenly care why i "dont like you"? I tried being civil but you wanted much more than what i can offer. Sometimes you have to think twice. Thrice. Or more. Go ask people who really matter to you not people who will just fuss around because of what you have now. Dont think much of what only you can gain. The words left unsaid are there because obviously these are words you wouldnt accept to hear. I would not want to be your flick's contrabida but its too much to ask me to be your supporting actress because I wont be. In this situation, I am best as a cameo.

Next post will be a positive one. Promise. :D