just in time for the Super Bowl

Non-vegetarian Chili:

Just add meat to the recipe below.

I like ground turkey for my chili-- Some tips on how to handle meat additions/substitutions are at the bottom of the lab procedures

Vegetarian Chili
(Tailgate Size Batch)

Makes a gallon and a half of chili. And then some. (recipe can be halved, but then where are your leftovers?)

shop:
- 2 packages Carroll Shelby's Original Texas Brand Chili Kit (or equivalent). Shelby's comes in a 4 oz. package, which they say is good for 2 pounds of meat. The package includes individual pouches of corn flour, chili spices, cayenne pepper, and salt.
- 2 1/2 lbs. dried beans. Hurst's HamBeens 15 bean soup mix comes in 20 oz. bags, so buy 2. (why yes, I do recommend the 15 bean soup mix over just 2 1/2 lbs. of any old beans. You can get any flavor of "soup" (they offer several)-- It's the beans you want, not the soup. Discard the flavor packet
- olive oil or butter (something to sauté in)
- 2 medium-to-large onions
- 4 large cloves of garlic (more if you like)
- 1 red bell pepper
- 1 green bell pepper
- 12 oz. pack of sliced mushrooms (more if you like)
- 10 oz. pack of julienne or 'matchstick' carrots
- 2 14 oz. cans of diced tomatoes (with or without spices)

I buy mushrooms and carrots pre-cut for convenience. You can chop 'em yourself if you like, as long as you have about 2 cups of each.


hardware:
- Something to cook beans in. (large soup pot, or a crockpot. The crockpot is easier, by far.)
- a large skillet
- a big bowl or other container, large enough for 2 gallons
- a big spoon with a long handle.
- a whole lot of plastic containers for leftovers. (I use 6 cup gladware bowls, and last batch I filled 5 of them.)

recommended beer: It's cheap and comes in 24 packs-- anything to help put out the fire, right?

lab procedures:

You start by cooking a whole lot of beans. Dried beans can be a real pain in the ass to cook, but I use a crockpot which makes it much easier. Take one 20 oz. bag of beans, 3 quarts of water, and cook in a crockpot for six hours. You can stir it occasionally if it makes you feel better, but it'll be fine if you just plug it in, cover it, and then go out for a beer.

To make a full batch I have to do this twice, as the crockpot I have is a bit small. Luckily, the beans can be cooked in advance, since they will keep in the fridge for at least a week.

So now you have a whole mess of beans and some raw veggies. Drain the beans well and set them aside for now (or leave them in the fridge). Now it's time to prep your vegetables. I like to slice the peppers and onions fairly thin, more like you'd do for fajitas, rather than just chopping them into little bits. Garlic can be crushed and minced, or sliced, depending on whether or not you like whole chunks of garlic in your food.

In a large skillet, start cooking the onions and garlic in 2 tablespoons of olive oil or butter. Sauté over medium heat until the onions go translucent, then up the heat a bit so they start to caramelize. Add the mushrooms and peppers, and cover. You'll need to steam the veggies for a while so they cook down. After the peppers go a bit limp the whole mess is easier to stir. Give your veggies another five or ten minutes, and then add the carrots. The carrots should be cut fine, and you don't want to cook them long at all. (unless the idea of a little crunch bothers you. cook 'em into mush for all I care) Cover and steam the veggies for another couple of minutes, then cut the heat and move on to the next stage.

Believe it or not, you're done cooking. I used to simmer a pot of chili on the stove for hours, but now I don't think it's really necessary. The beans do take a long time to cook, but if you cheat and use something from a can you can have chili done in less than an hour.

Empty the contents of all the spice packets in the Chili Kit into your big-ass bowl. (You can cut back on the salt if you want, but the beans are unseasoned and there are a whole lot of them.) Add your cooked veggies, and a tablespoon or so of olive oil (or softened butter) and start stirring. The extra oil helps grease the wheels, so to speak, and also helps in preventing lumps in the dry spices.

Once your veggies are covered in chili goodness, add the cooked beans, both cans of diced tomatoes, and a quart of water (or 2 cans of beer). Keep stirring until it looks like chili.

At this point you're done. The chili needs to be reheated, but you can do that later, either in a large pot on the stove or one bowl at a time in the microwave. I might add some Tabasco, more cayenne, and jalapenos, but you can make it however you want.

(or set up a spice/topping bar: hot peppers, chili powder, cayenne, tabasco, shredded cheese, sour cream; it's all good stuff on chili. Folks can customize how hot they'd like it.)

If you'd rather do non-vegetarian chili (and who wouldn't?), you can substitute 2 pounds of ground chuck or turkey for one bag of beans. (Or sustitute 4 lbs. for all the beans. mmmmm.... meat. Or pick up a third packet of Shelby's chili spice mix, go with 4 lbs of meat and a bag of beans, and make a truly hellish amount of chili. Whatever, the recipe is flexible.)

If you stick with the straight veggie recipe, you can also add things after the fact. Grilled chicken, steak, or marinated and grilled portabello mushroom caps can be sliced up and thrown in later. It's also good as a dip with tortilla chips or crusty bread, and of course, chili is the thing to put on hot dogs (or on omelets & hashbrowns for breakfast. damn, now I'm hungry, and there's no way I can have chili like this done before breatfast...)