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Better In Time
8 kept my secrets
I really thought we were still happy with each other. I never imagined
that the last time we've met would be the last time I'll ever hug and
kiss him.
At that moment, when he walked me to the station on the way to work, I
brushed away the sad feeling lingering in my chest. My heart felt there
was already something wrong with the way he moved around me.
But even then, I chose to ignore the signs. I ignored the jealous
feeling when they posted a screenshot of their Cabal characters as
their primary photos at Friendster a few months back. I did not think
too much of the numerous times he was not able to answer my calls, even
in the middle of the day. I overlooked the fact that he virtually
stopped texting me as often as he used to.
I still convinced myself that everything is fine.
If he only knew how I cried every night for him, because I felt that he paid little attention to me these past few months.
I still really love him. Call me stupid, but I still care for him,
regardless of what he has done to me. As much as I wanted to blame him
for what has happened, I can't. I just can't. I care too much.
I kept telling everyone not to be angry at him, because he loved me for
the past 3 years. I kept telling them it was probably my fault, that I
failed to be the perfect girl for him, and that he found someone who
would better understand him.
I don't want him to be the villain in this story. Until the end, I'm still trying to protect him.
Since there’s no more you and me
It’s time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I’ll be fine without you
Yes I will.
-Leona Lewis, Better in Time
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I've changed my mind about not going to Hero this saturday. I am going.
In fact, I think I'll be joining the catwalk. It's been a while since
I've cosplayed individually (as opposed to just costripping). And my
mom's coming too. She wants to experience going to a convention with
me. She knew what I was going through and she's encouraging me to have
fun to take my mind off my troubles.That's why I love my mom. ^^
It's Over.
by kairee on November 11, 2008 at 08:34 PM
Folder/s: jam
A favorite post.
Do not trust your friends. They will steal your boyfriends.
Don't thank me because I gave him to you.
You fucking stole him from me.
But sadly...
He chose you...
Thank you for the wonderful 3 years together, Jam. I will never forget you.
==============================
Forget About Me
Little Bit
You said it wasn't
Gonna be like it was before
Then it happened again
Pushing me back out the door
Thought it would be for real this time
Love me forget about the signs
So now what do I do
Now, that I know that we're through
Wish that I could move on
Can't let go
It's too strong
Just like that and then you're gone
Is this how you wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape the misery
Why don't you love me
The way I loved you
It feels so crazy
Cause I dunno what I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly
Cause I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna stick around
Then, baby forget about me
Too late, sorry
I didn't even have the chance
You said you were happy
Baby I don't understand
Gave you everything you asked for
And was ready to give you a lot more
I would've given the world
Right in the palm of your hand
Wish that I could move on
Can't let go it's too strong
Just like that and then you're gone
Is this how you wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape the misery
Why don't you love me
The way I loved you
It feels so crazy
Cause I dunno what I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly
Cause I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna stick around
Then, baby forget about me
Boy
My heart was true
And that you can't deny
Don't be a fool
And walk away
From all the lies
It's up to you
Cause heaven knows
I've tried
Tell me
You're still in love
Forget about me
Forget about me
I really loved you.
 moving
by kairee on October 29, 2008 at 05:35 AM
My tabulas account is dying. I'm considering a permanent move to Multiply.
The week that was.
by kairee on October 22, 2008 at 04:33 AM
Last week was my busiest week ever. I finally had the time to sit down in front of my PC and tell you all about it! (while drowning myself in UVERness)
(Warning: Image heavy.)
listening to:UVERworld- CHANCE!
overdue birthday entry
21 kept my secrets
I'm trying out Opera Mobile on my phone atm. So if this is successfully posted, I'm gonna be one happy bunny =D
------------------------
Yatta! It worked! Wee! Alrighty then. I've got lots of stories to tell today. =D Let's start with...
Anicon
Yes, I was there. Although I was just lurking outside the convention area. I was there because I was waiting for Jam. Since he was gonna run a little late (as usual -_-), I went to the 5th floor and waited for him there. Then I saw my friend Jalec, which made me really happy because it's been a year since I last saw him. He was costripping as shippuuden Sasuke, but he doesn't really act like Sasuke because he's soo hyperactive! XD
Something funny happened at Anicon, though. I was chatting with Jalec when 2 guys approached us and asked if they could take a picture. Jalec stood up while I politely moved away so I wont be seen in the picture, but the camera guy called me and said I'm included. Wuh? Why? O_o They probably thought I was costripping as someone from the Prince of Tennis because I was wearing my Seigaku jacket. I posed for the picture anyway, like the amateur, camwhore cosplayer that I am. lols.
Jam finally arrived (3 hours late!) and we took off to celebrate my birthday.
Happy birthday, Kairee
Jam and I went to our usual place as an advanced birthday celebration. I bought a box of brownies for my mom and they gave me a free cupcake, so that served as my birthday cake. I carefully took the cupcake out of its box, laid it in the middle of the table, and.. I just started crying like the emo kid that I am. Jam kept on asking me what's wrong, and I just hugged him. (But to be honest, I really had no particular reason for the waterworks XD). To cheer me up, he lit up a cigarette and placed it on top of the cupcake like a candle. "Happy birthday, emo girl." he teased me. He then placed a small amount of icing on my nose! XD It was one of those memories I'll treasure forever.
Adult Bdays are Boring
I've just realized that when you reach the 20+ age mark, birthdays aren't really as exciting anymore. I didn't even get any gifts (except for the 15min off-phone time my manager gave me. Wow, thanks a heap) I just slept the whole day and ate spaghetti that night and that was it. Plus only a handful of people greeted me this year. Meh. I dont care, really. XD Haha!
Cosplay Mania
...is only 4 days away! I'm so excited! 8D Although I had to go absent on that day. Meh. It's gonna be worth it! I've waited long enough for this event. I'm not gonna miss it for the world!
See you there, minna!
I HAS BANGS NAO
by kairee on October 4, 2008 at 02:07 AM
I fail. LOL
A little pimpin' y'all.
http://lolikakashi.multiply.com
because I was bored. Haha! *gets booed*
reading:my shiny new Multiply page XD
listening to:Shimokawa Mikuni - Sore Ga, Ai Deshou
feeling:fluffy
Look Mom, I am Sasuke!
by kairee on September 30, 2008 at 04:41 PM
LOLWHUT i have Sasuke hair~
FTW y'all! LMAONESS
I'm using the Allen Walker Aruki-chan made for me. It's made of win~~ =D Thanks again, Aruki-chan!
Core Leave! Yapapa!
by kairee on September 29, 2008 at 10:51 PM
I'm on core leave starting today, which means i have NO EFFING WORK until sunday!! YAPAPA! xD
Since I have 7 days free time, I should be able to do the following:
- redo my Anita headdress
- find a good wig and style it
- clean my room aww forget it lols
- have my hair cut so I can fix my hair like Sasuke's XD
- check out the resort for Anime Clan's upcoming anniversary celebration
- also check out the resort for my officemates' team building
- burn the complete soundtrack of Naruto & Naruto Shippuuden as a gift for Jam (no small feat since I'm on dial up XD)
- exercise for cosmania and also so that I can wear a bikini during the outing @_@
- learn silkscreen printing
..I think I need a month to do all these XD lol. happy vacation to me~~
Edit: I sent Jin a note on dA. I'm such a fangirl XD
Yosi
15 kept my secrets
Nanginginig na naman ang mga tuhod ko. Nakakabighani talaga siya, as
usual. Nakatitig lang ako nang dumaan siya sa harapan ko. Naaamoy ko
ang pabango nya, parang sinadya niyang iwan ang amoy nyang yun para
inisin ako. Sinundan ko lang siya ng tingin habang bumababa sa
hagdanan. Hindi na kita nakikita, pero parang andun ka pa rin...
Bumalik lang ako sa realidad nung bigla akong sinikaran ng kabarkada
ko. "Pare tulala ka na naman!" Minura ko siya ng pabulong. Ayoko
tumingin s mukha nya dahil alam ko namang nakangisi ito.
"Pikon talaga to!" tinuloy pa ang pangaasar. Ang sarap nya upakan…
"Gago ka tumahimik ka papatulan talaga kita..." gigil na gigil ko siyang pinagbantaan.
"Kasi naman! Isang taon mo na pinagnanasaan yung babaeng yun! di mo malapitan!"
Hindi na ko sumagot.
"Pag makikipagaway sa kabilang frat game na game ka! Pero sa babae
takot ka! Pare, babae lang yan!" tumawa siya ng malakas.
Pinagtitinginan na kami ng mga freshman na dumadaan sa harap ng hum
building.
Pinagpag ko ang pantalon ko at tumingin kay oble. "Di mo kasi naiintindihan…"
"Anong hindi? Ulul! Matagal na kitang kilala!" sabi nya.
"…Hindi nya ko magugustuhan.."
"Ha?” Naglabas siyang isang stick ng yosi at sinindihan ito. “Ni hindi mo pa nga alam kung ano gusto nyan eh!" sabay hithit.
"Mukha kasing mabait.. baka ayaw nyan sa tarantado.." patuloy ko paring pangangatwiran.
Hithit. Buga. "Bakit ako? Mukha rin naman akong mabait ah!" sabi nya, sabay halakhak.
"Lul."
Tinaktak nya ang abo sa harap nya. "Tsaka ano ba kinakatakot mo? wafuu ka naman!"
Napatitig ako sa kanya. "Tol, bakla ka ba?"
Sinikaran na naman ako ni gago. "Ungas ka talaga! Comment lang yun!"
Kumuha pa siya ng isa pang stick at inabot sa akin. "Yosi?"
Hindi ako tumatanggi sa grasya. Kinuha ko ang yosi at nilagay sa bulsa
ng polo ko. "Mamaya na lang to. Reserb. " nkangiti kong sinabi.
Kibit-balikat lang siya. "Bahala ka nga. Alam mo pare, nakakasawa ka nang pangaralan."
Ah ewan. Tumayo ako bigla. "May exam pa. Aral pa ko.” Tinignan nya ko
ng parang sinabi kong tatalon ako sa bangin. Hindi ko na pinansin. Alam
ko namang di maniniwala yon kahit ano pa sabihin ko eh. Gusto ko lang
mapag-isa.
Nilagay ko ang mga kamay ko sa bulsa ng pantalon ko
at napabuntong-hininga. Ano nga bang problema ko? Kunsabagay, tama si
tol. Pag rambol di ako takot masaktan. Sugod agad. Eto, babae lang to.
Pero hindi. Hindi naman ako takot masapak o masugatan. Pero takot akong masaktan.
(read more)
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Jesse Anne Lopez Rosin (Kairee, Kairi, Jazz) was also born on the same day as Ikuta Toma, October 7, 1986. She is currently a customer services representative for one of the largest banks in the UK. She loves videogames and cosplay, collects anime merchandise (mostly from Comic Alley), and is a fan of many J-rock groups, mainly 