Posted at 05:47 PM on September 26, 2008 in .
I have never been lucky in love.. I have accepted that for a fact,
But I am very aware how lucky Iam with my work. That I can provide for myself and
my kid. Very much independent... but when it comes to love, it rocks me
to my very core, though people may not notice it. They view me as a strongwilled
person, and I hope I will continue to be that strong..But inside, am dead with the
bruises I got from falling in love until such a time I can no
longer feel the pain.. speaking with an ex..breaks me,makes me weak though I may not show it,
but I falter everytime. It was inside that I cried, how I wanted to break free from the
walls I have built around myself. How I wanted to love endlessly,
like Ive never loved before. Love like I will never get hurt again..
I wanted to embrace him and tell him how much I hurt without him. That he's so near yet
so far away..
That I wanted to stay but he continues to slip away. I wanna hold him and tell him
I will never stop loving him.. But I simply cant beg, the only thing left in me is
my dignity.. I will once again feel the emptiness and sorrow he brings me everytime he gets close
I have been trying to conceal it by working hard
and letting time pass by. How I hope he would just go away and be happy with his life...
I hope the best for him, for thats what love is... loving someone until it hurts..loving without expecting
loving by sacrificing one's happiness... for letting that person you love be happy
whatever decision he makes, including the decision of living a life apart from me..
spending it with someone he claims to love more...
how tragic,how true,how can love be so selfish...