FRIDAY, we spent the night at Karen's. She's leaving for Florida at 5 AM, so we stayed up til it was time for them to leave. We just watched The Amityville Horror. Man, that movie gave me a FRIGHT!! Esp the part where the lil boy went to go pee and suddenly looked on his side and WAAAH! That freaken face is stuck in my head! Freaky!! haha After that movie, we put in Brother Bear. Haha What a transition, I know, right? lol. And then Racing Stripes. We were also playing cards at the same time, with that kinky DICE thingie. ahaha That was fun. Aww.. Imma miss Karen.. for 2 weeks!!


Last night, SATURDAY, I thought I was gonna bum all alone in the house the whole time cuz I got no plans, AT ALL. Phoebe's in San Diego with friends, and Kuya and mom was at work. I was thinking of going to the movies by myself (I really wanna watch ELIZABETHTOWN), but I got too lazy to walk. So yeah, then Jimboy called and asked if I wanted to come to a party somewhere in LA, and I was like, sure. But then Mark 'tankz' called and wanted me to come to his kickback slash despedida at Yokz' house. He's leaving for Airforce on Tuesday. So I decided to just go there instead of some party at LA. Happens that Jimboy decided to come to Tankz' despedida instead too! So it's all good. I didn't bail on anyone. ) It was fun. Drinkin and smokes. And grouphugFEST!! haha Am I that huggable? J/P. I actually fell off the ground, on my ass! lol It was fun though. Got home at around 4 AM. And the highlight of the night.... haha right, I kissed a drunk girl bishes!! haha No pics tho. I was having so much fun that I never get the chance to take pictures. haha


TODAY, Den and LJ woke my ass up at 11 in the fuccen morning!! I was so hangover then. Until now actually. They asked if I wanna come to a party tonight. But I don't know... I'm still not over my hangover and there's already another party?? lol I've had enough grouphugs and kisses. hahaha

So I was OK already, right? But it's all coming back again DAMMIT! I let him go... I am actually doing OK. But why is he still there, clinging on to me like he hasn't affected me that much already!! Yeah it was my choice to still talk to him, and be alright with it. But FYI, I never initiate anything. So we talk like normally again. He calls me sometimes, and we chat. And so yeah, we were actually doing well. Until our chat last night that pissed me off. Like REALLY pissed me off. Last night, we got into some random conversation. He was asking me all those weird questions that in the end, I kind of put them all into puzzle and there formed something. And I was right. 1st he asked me if it's a good idea to lie to someone to protect someone else, or something like that. On that one question, I already had something in mind. Like hmm.... are you lying to her about me? Or the other way around? And then topic changed. And then he asked me another question.. Would I ever ask a person to stop talking to another person? And I was like.. HELLS NO... Why would I even do that? Only an insecure person would do that, right? And so yeah, After all the questioning he's done, I bluntly asked him, "Are you still allowed to see me?!" And he goes, something like, "..that's why I asked you those things.." And I was like... OK.... NOW I SEE.... Yet, he said HE still WANTS TO...... OK, great! Was I supposed to feel good about that?! God..... But clearly, the girl's so darn insecure. UGH!! That really pisses me off. Why would SHE be so fucken insecure when she's already GOT what I WANT? Before he said bye, he thanked me. He said he just needed someone to talk to. I'm like ok... I'm included in the story and you're confronting on me? Well, I don't have any problems with that. I know he knows he can always talk to me. But this case is something he has to work on by himself. Whatever he decides to do shouldn't be based on my point of view. That's what I don't understand about him. Why would he still come up to me and talk to me about all those things? Does he ever think anymore??? That maybe I'd be affected in some way?


If he really wants/loves HER, he should stop TALKING to me, or TELLING ME all those things, or even wanting to SEE ME, so she won't feel bad and finally get her freaken PEACE OF MIND. I'm doing so well without him. If he doesn't talk to me anymore, IT'S COOL. That would actually help me forget about him, and completely LET GO. But fuccck. Whatever. Why can't he???




"Isn't that funny? I still believe in happy ending. Even when the girl doesn't get the guy in the end.. And in my case, both guys."

-Little Black Book