It's been a while.

I don't know where to start. I keep asking myself: "How should I start?" Is it cliche to use common words such as "Hi!", "Hello!" or even "Dear Diary,"?

Nevertheless, It's me once again. Three years have passed. I'm not even sure if my sanity is still intact or has it dispersed and vanished into oblivion.

Recently, life has been about choices. Not the usual choices you'd make everyday like what clothes to wear or what to have for lunch or even what time to sleep. Choices like, what should I do today to change my life or what can I do to make this or that better. Simple as it may sound but the difficulty of being stuck in the middle of two phases in your life is unbearable.

Three years fell down on me. I learned and gained a lot but in the end, I felt empty. It wasn't because I was craving for more, I'm pretty sure of that. It was probably regret that cast a dark shadow over me, tainting whatever happiness I had left. I didn't find any value in sulking but it was just too hard to avoid. It takes over and unleashes your uncivilized self and breaking your armor of reason.

Now, I have laid down my sword and buried my shield into the ground. I will pick up my cross until it is my cross no more.