Better In Time
Posted at 05:40 AM in i've got some serious issues
I really thought we were still happy with each other. I never imagined
that the last time we've met would be the last time I'll ever hug and
kiss him.
At that moment, when he walked me to the station on the way to work, I
brushed away the sad feeling lingering in my chest. My heart felt there
was already something wrong with the way he moved around me.
But even then, I chose to ignore the signs. I ignored the jealous
feeling when they posted a screenshot of their Cabal characters as
their primary photos at Friendster a few months back. I did not think
too much of the numerous times he was not able to answer my calls, even
in the middle of the day. I overlooked the fact that he virtually
stopped texting me as often as he used to.
I still convinced myself that everything is fine.
If he only knew how I cried every night for him, because I felt that he paid little attention to me these past few months.
I still really love him. Call me stupid, but I still care for him,
regardless of what he has done to me. As much as I wanted to blame him
for what has happened, I can't. I just can't. I care too much.
I kept telling everyone not to be angry at him, because he loved me for
the past 3 years. I kept telling them it was probably my fault, that I
failed to be the perfect girl for him, and that he found someone who
would better understand him.
I don't want him to be the villain in this story. Until the end, I'm still trying to protect him.
Since there’s no more you and me
It’s time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I’ll be fine without you
Yes I will.
-Leona Lewis, Better in Time
-----------------------
I've changed my mind about not going to Hero this saturday. I am going.
In fact, I think I'll be joining the catwalk. It's been a while since
I've cosplayed individually (as opposed to just costripping). And my
mom's coming too. She wants to experience going to a convention with
me. She knew what I was going through and she's encouraging me to have
fun to take my mind off my troubles.That's why I love my mom. ^^
