lexi_sexy

ok, so im still in that slump. i still havent figured out how to get out of it.

neuro exam was ok - i think i passed.

getting back to feeling all shitty, i have different plans to "try" to get my groove back on...

1. hit the gym -- nothing like a little workout to get the endorphins running
2. chocolates -- i bought a whole pack of oreo cookies (and fresh milk) to munch on while i catch up on my TV series. speaking of which, i wanna watch madagascar! anyone up for it?
3. go to UPDil -- visit psych, say hi to profs and ate marissa and ate richie and mang collins... after that get isaw or visit bannapple. yum!
4. massage massage massage! nuf said.
5. get a haircut and my hair re-dyed.

i also want to get a new hobby.. i've been thinking of tina and therefore thought of puzzles. i wonder if i'll have the patience to complete a 2000 piece puzzle all on my own.. then comes the hard part of logistics: where do i build the puzzle? how do i frame it...?

speaking of which: i miss you tina! i therefore have to include you sa UPD visit.

on a side note: i noticed that my "getting my groove back on plans" dont include anything related to med. wahahaha..

hanngang 3 lang kami ngayon.. i wonder which of my plans im gonna do.. hrmm..

lexi_sexy

actually i havent TECHNICALLY finished reading all the transes. i skipped the SGDs and the Cases and the trans i made with my transmates..

god knows i haven't even mastered the neuro modules.

hay, what to do about the exam...

i cant help but be distracted though. this sem has been one huge "off" thingy.. :-s

i mean, i wake up in the morning not having the strenth or desire to go to class (and the fact that attendance isnt even checked doesnt help me...) when im in class the first thing i do is go online and THEN i "try" to listen.. in the end though i end up being immersed in my computer doing non-neuro stuff OR with my head flat on my desk, 100% asleep.

I go home feeling exhausted and so fall asleep while talking to mickey OR fall asleep while holding my transes - whether on the bed or on the desk.

it makes me think of differentials for excessive sleeping (i have been sleeping a LOT like 12-13 hours ) ? a tumor impinging on my ARAS? hypoxic event that i wasnt aware of that affected my thalamocortical pathway? (cross out hypogly since i never fail to indulge myself)... or maybe i have african sleeping sickness?

how about psych related pathologies? depression? stress? burnout?

grabe, symptom ko lang hindi ko pa madiagnose. thats another thing depressing about neuro. ito ung first time na naramdaman ko na HECK! i dont know one damn thing! how the hell will i treat REAL patients when i cant even diagnose PAPER CASES! i know i should be studying more.. using that realization to fuel my need to solve the unsolved... but somehow i end up not caring... not doing... bad yun diba?

hrmm... i dont know..but all i want to do right now is curl up into a ball and relax on my warm soft bed... (Despite knowing there's an exam tomorrow waiting to kill me)...

i dont have the drive to go to class anymore.. i dont even know why im doing it. neuro is boring as hell (which is a big disappointment since i considered neuro as a possible specialty)... sigh...

im still wondering why im putting myself throguh all this when its clear naman na i dont have the heart for it... the capacity, yes. the heart? still waiting for that time that passion will ignite itself again. ang hirap talaga na hindi intrinsic ang desire to do something...
_________________________________________

can't wait to go to ilocos! im going twice! wheeee! i dont care what anyone says... the minute i get off classes on december --- im taking a BREAK. in the beautiful beach of maira-ira! wheeee!!

luminari1218

In any engineering planning and design, we were always reminded to consider and include a minimum safety factor of 2.5.  This compensates for the non-ideal conditions the equipment will be subjected to during operation.  Aside from this, there should be emergency release valves and additional safety paraphernalia that would serve as "plan B": just in case the safety factor was exceeded, no disaster will occur.

The logic of the safety factor is very simple and practical.  In real life, ideal conditions do not exist.  We always need to have a safety factor and a plan B (aka "fall-back plan").  It is quite stupid to rely on just one plan because if that doesn't work out, then you will be back to square one.  Sometimes, a shot-gun approach is best to start with especially when you can not decide about your target/goal rather than shooting blindly at a single target,  at least there's a possibiltity that you would hit something eventually.

Every year we get older, not younger.  Although patience is a virtue, patience is also an excuse for not getting out of our comfort zone.  So, since the years are practically flying by, I think it would be wise to leave patience for a while and make things happen.

Hmm... don't mind me, I'm just talking to myself as I ponder on what 2009 has in store for everyone

I still need to make-up for lost sleep since last weekend.  So, goodnight everyone!

(photo below was taken last Halloween at Fiamma)

lexi_sexy

actually, a lot of people are feeling the benign-ness... benign-nity... whatever... of neuro.

BUT for me, even though we still dont have requirements and such, im finding it more challenging than expected. i realized in our SGDs this morning how little i know about neuro (and this is coming from a psych student! sigh...) neuro is supposed to be one of my favorite subjects and yet i can't seem to get a grasp on it.

maybe its because im still on vacation mode.

i dont even know where to start reading. i have a lot of free time on my hands, but the bed is calling to me to go back to my regular routine --- sleep - gym - eat - watch TV series - sleep. wahahaha... at least may gym!

cmon lex! its time to wake up to reality that you have classes already and the exam is NEXT WEEK!

Its been a great weekend for me and now its back to the usual monday morning start. Looks like the people here at the office still has the monday sickness. Its now 9am and im the only one here! hehehe. Anyway looks like its not that busy a day so I started my day checking office email and my personal mails.

Came accross this forwarded email from my tita, Kinda liked it... makes me realize that i worry to much about tomorrow 

Mchael is the kind of guy you love to hate.
He is always in a good mood and always has
something positive to say.

When someone would ask him how he was
doing, would reply, "If I were any
better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day,
Michael was there telling the employee
how to look on the positive side of
the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious,
so one day I went up to Michael and asked
him, "I don't get it!
You can't be a
positive person all of the time.
How do you do it?"

Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up
and say to myself, you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or ..
You can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can
choose to be a victim or...I can choose
to learn from it. I choose to learn
from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining,
I can choose to accept their complaining or...
I can point out the positive side of life.
I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah,
right, it's not that easy," I
protested. "Yes, it is," Michael said.
"Life is all about choices. When you cut
away all the junk, every situation is a
choice.

You choose how you react to situations.
You choose how people affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.

The bottom line: It's your choice how you
live your life."

I reflected on what Michael said. Soon
thereafter, I left the Tower Industry to
start my own business. We lost touch, but
I often thought about him when I made a
choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Michael
was involved in a serious accident, falling
some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of
intensive care, Michael was released from
the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw Michael about six months after the
accident. When I asked him how he was, he
replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins.
Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask
him what had gone through his mind as the
accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind
was the well-being of my soon to be born
daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I
lay on the ground, I remembered that I
had two choices: I could choose to live or...
I could choose to die.

I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose
consciousness?" I asked.

Michael continued, "...the paramedics were
great. They kept telling me I was going to
be fine. But when they wheeled me into the
ER and I saw the expressions on the faces
of the doctors and nurses, I got really 
scared. In their eyes, I read "he's a dead
man. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting
questions at me," said Michael. "She asked
if I was allergic to anything.
"Yes, I replied." The doctors and nurses
stopped working as they waited for my reply.
I took a deep breath and yelled, "Gravity."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am
choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am
alive, not dead."

Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his
doctors, but also because of his amazing
attitude. I learned from him that every day
we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day
has enough trouble of its own."

After all today is the tomorrow you worried
about yesterday.