(I bid farewell, my froggy frog frog...)

     Wherever you are right now, I hope that you are experiencing paradise. It was just some hours ago that i met you, then, i killed you. At first, I was so hyped that i'm going to dissect my first frog. I "pheated" you slowly, in order for you to get paralyzed and not give me problems when dissecting you. I sliced your skin then started opening you. I slowly cut your "fascia," which connect your skin to your muscles. I opened you with control. When your insides were already visible, my teacher came and watched how skillfully i mounted my scissors on your muscles. But then, my teacher commented and that made me feel bad. She didn't comment about what I did to you. She didn't comment about the tools I used, but instead, she commented about your age. "Lester, you caught a baby frog. What I mean is it's newly developed from being a tadpole." The horror~ The horror!

     I know it's too late to say sorry to what I did. And worst of all, I didn't give you a proper burial. Even though your insides were about to fall from your body, I still placed you inside a jar. But that doesn't stop from there, I drowned you with formalin and a part of water. I'm cruel. And my conscience is starting to attack me.

     I know that we'll meet someday. And that someday is on tuesday of next week. Wherever your soul maybe, may it rest in peace. I prayed for your death. And i'm really sorry. May this serve as a tribute, for a frog, who was once a tadpole.

Currently watching: The Frog
Currently feeling: recumbent

vahnlsq__

     I really have no idea why I’m posting another entry here in tabulas. It seems like I’m losing my interest about this blog and stuff. It’s just that maybe I feel inferior when I see other people’s works. They write (and design, yes, design) a lot better than me. What can I write anyway? Crappy substances, bumpy bits and pieces and double crappiness. I guess tabulas has served its purpose now. It’s becoming my exhaust. Expect that I’ll brag more about my crappy life.

     Well, that’s not my only problem right now.  It’s about that stupid NAT (Nursing Aptitude Test). I feel really stupid not answering those questions correctly. Accountancy (or maybe MIS), here I come.  Another problem is that Filipino choral recitation. By luck, I got to be the leader of my section. That means that I did everything concerning the presentation. I was really enthusiastic at first, but when I finished teaching the steps and voice dynamics, I felt dead beat. How did this become a problem? It’s just that I did my best creating (Well maybe some. Thanks to Karlo the great, for his influence and yadayada) those steps and what I get is “Ang bilis masyado.” Can’t they just say something that can soothe my aching psyche? It’s a shame we people created euphemisms yet not many use them. All I’m asking for is a simple “okay na sya.” That alone can lift my spirit. But no, I didn’t get even a simple “K.”

     Lastly, I’m having a problem with our English paper. It’s totally unscientific. Its title seemed like it was just created by getting terms from the dictionary, scrambling it to get a highly technical sound, and then submitted it to our teacher. And now, I’m suffering its grasp. I learned that one should use words properly, so that they will not do something against you. In my case, it’s too late. I guess it’s already payback time for those words I used.

     Want to know more about my crappy life? Dial 991-5954. The phone line is open to serve you. Long distance charges still apply. But I assure you, you will not get the best operator around. I employed my 2 years-old brother to answer every incoming call. If you don’t want to be insane, just don’t call. But you can call if you want too. Ciao. I have nothing more to say.

Currently listening to: Suicide by my own brain
Currently reading: Eragon
Currently watching: Jewel
Currently feeling: sarcastic

    ROBELLE... happy bday...

    happy bday... and a happy bday...

    Sorry if i can't say those words personally...

    Kaya eto nalang, isang entry just for you... hihihi

    Miss ya.. Miss all...

     Ilang beses na rin siguro akong pinaulanan ng malas dito sa mundo. May mga pagkakataon na natutumba ako sa kalye dahil sa napakalayo ng aking iniisip. Mayroon ring mga panahon na bigla nalang akong tatamaan ng lahat ng mga bagay na lumilipad mula sa ere. Tulad nalang ng nahulugan ako ng ipot ng ibon tatlong beses sa isang araw. Labas nga eh parang “breakfast”, “lunch” and “dinner” ang skedyul ng mga sunod-sunod na pag-ipot sa akin. May isang beses rin na kung saan sumabog nalang ng bigla ang kompyuter ko sa aking harapan. Kung iisipin mo, mas malala pa yata ako kay “Mr. Bean” kung ikukumpara kami. Pero buti pa si “Mr. Bean”, hindi minamalas sa isang sitwasyon na kung saan ako ay pinakamalas: Sa Pag-ibig.

     Aaminin ko, isa ako sa mga pakawala sa lipunan ng mga lalake. Ako ay isang torpe. Isa ako sa mga lalakeng hindi tinatabalan ng kahit anong uri ng panulak. Mapa-“Torpe Song No. 5” pa yan o “May chance ka naman eh” ay walang kwenta sa akin. Marami akong kaibigang babae, at lahat sila nagsasabi na paano ko raw malalaman kung hindi ko susubukan. Napakahirap kasi kung panliligaw na ang pag-uusapan. 
            
     Bakit kasi kailangan pang manligaw. Hindi ba sapat ang pagpapalagayan nalang ng loob at bigla mo nalang masasabi na ang relasyon nyo ay “more than friends” na? Bakit kasi ang raming ritwal sa mundo natin. Bakit kasi kailangang gumawa ka ng mga bagay na naayon sa kultura kung saan ka napapabilang. Minsan, naiisip ko nalang na ang ating kultura ay andyan lamang para maging “safe zone” natin sa panahon ng trahedya. Tulad nalang na kung sa pananamit, ang gamitin mo ay yung T-shirt at pantalon para hindi ka maturingang jologs o kaya naman ay fashionista.  Siguro isang bagay lang talaga ang nakikita ko sa sitwasyong ito: Ako ay malas rin sa kultura.

     Napakamalas ko nga talaga sa mundo. Pero may tanong pa rin na pilit humihingi ng kasagutan. Bakit pa ako ipinanganak kung puro kamalasan lang naman ang nakukuha ko?

     Napaka-negative naman ng iniisip ko. Hayaan mo na, sa ganitong paraan, napapatunayan ko na kaya masayang mabuhay ay dahil sa malas. Dahil kasi kapag may kamalasan, nakikita mo ang kagandahan. Ang galing talaga ng diyos.

     Ito na siguro ang plano sa akin ng Diyos. Single and unlucky for Life.

Currently listening to: You by Basil Valdez
Currently reading: Chronicles of Narnia
Currently watching: TV