Drifting life, strayed wanderer

Several days ago, the day before my roommate come back, when I though that cleaning up the room a bit is appropriate and should be done, and while I was working on stuff pressed on deadline--- that I regret greatly later.

See, I always let my workspace messy forever as I'm actively doing things, it can't be tidied up, and shouldn't be. I have excuse(s) reason. Or, at least, until I finished on working on particular thing, and was going to start something new next time/ is going to have an extent of break. When I sort out things in neat manner, it is when what I was doing then has been done, or that I plan on having (quite) a break. Because I work in (really) fast pace and have continuation of ideas and motivation and spirit when things are left as how they were when I worked on them, and I tend to lost the will and stop working when things are in neat condition; don't ask why--- I want to know, too.

Then. The deadline is tight pressed, and I stopped working on duties. totally D: should never repeat the same mistake. However shipwrecked the workspace is, never sort it out until at least the work is done, then.

 

I also hate routines. I seem to love doing things that commonly people don't; but when turned into chores, hate them totally. Or maybe stressed.

When a graphic composition teacher explained about the plausible effect brought by (neat) patterned horizontal lines, of which (mainly) are bringing tranquil, calmness and assurance; it instead gave a reversed effect on me. I know why, kinda.

 

While my bedroom (hometown) is the reversed version of my workspace. Totally neat, because there's nothing really to be scattered around, nor be moved. Even my borthers's room have more accessories and decoration. While mine is totally plain; there's really nothing except for primary living necessities. Don't ask why, because I wonder about that, too.

 

Maybe because I'm (always) so contradictive inside. maybe.

Chapter 11 - A close shot, one for one.

The black cat brought the white gem to trader for another black one. The crow reminded the cat to wore a wooden charm to parry away bad things, and the cat done so.

The moment the cat reached the first post on the trip, the charm shattered as how when an accident is shoved away. The cat then take the first shelter during the long trip at a turtle's hideout. The turtle was an old friend of the cat, and at the turtle's, another gank of crows also present.

As the cat reached the trader, the cat dissapointed as the white gem was a flawed and unmatured stone. But in the end, the trader still give an unmatured black gem as a gift for the effort, and pointed toward an alleyway with waterways flowing beneath.

The cat followed the trader's guidance and arrive at a peddler that sold sea's treasure. With that, the cat brought back a giant oyster shell with a pure black pearl as a gift for the partner. While what's waiting for the cat's return was a Cat's eye.

 

Chapter 12 - Revelation

It was when the crow was busy with things, and the cat was taking a nap. Suddenly, a soft sound of door opening and closing was heard, then something walk in and sat beside where the cat was lying. Before the cat took any awareness that it was a stranger that coming, the ground was shaking violently and the cat was trapped in that stranger's mantra.

In struggle to free itself, something that similar to the partner, the crow, entered with a silver-blade and golden-handled sword. The cat hesitated awhile whether to take a sword from the partner's doppelganger, but decided to take it anyway and finished the stranger. The stranger had blue transparent bodyly with yellow centre.

August 17th, 2008

The talk somehow goes to "most of the school graduating friends that study piano are in doubt whether to continue it or concentrate fully on college", after some talks about trying both ways first before deciding it, she turned "Well, they can take both, it's possible, if they want". Yep, it's possible. But you make all what I want for sound like a joke, you spoiled brat. BECAUSE THOSE POSSIBILITY ONLY EXIST FOR RICH KIDS, OKAY. Like hell if you can even afford a 2nd hand (or 3rd, or 4th) piano or use during undergraduate's several years. Even trying to rent a piano cell costs, and to reach there cost time. I don't even dare to dream about getting a teacher, or even having exam and certificate and go on stage. And you're all, "If you don't get certificate that'd be a waste"; sure, but even getting to exercise is more than enough for me. And you rich kids can ask your parent for new piano at whereever you'll live later, and ask for private teacher and so on. You're just too spoiled and don't see where's the problem okay, we're not as rich okay, and all your solution are only for big money pocketed kids okay. And you don't want to leave your college for the piano's sake, don't you.

I'm just lucky that someone would just fund me for college, or I doubt I'd go anywhere, since girl never get prioritized in education whenever the family's economical condition is not promising enough to get the boys to higher level school. Most of my friends in high school including me have part time jobs, and even more of them start working full time when they're in college. Finally, everything else beyond college & work has to be stopped in order to maintain the grade and income. Some even have 1 year job before entering college and get 1 year off for working, only to be able to pay tuition and living cost. So dont speak so easily about things can go easy, just because you have tons of money-money for the solution. Not everyone's so. (and you haven't even ever live by yourself, taking care all of your stuff, all by yourself) I envy your kemakmuran, really. heh.

 

And to add the money-money story:
When all the parents-parents are gossiping, and news like this is bragged on how they're succesful (in term of money-money), I'm to burst into laughter: "[someone's somebody] is excavating new sites for mining metal (ferro, zinc, cobalt --- iirc) under private license; the engineer, equipment, and processor are imported from China, and the mines are divided in two (since Indos open the site, getting the license, and fund the process; while China cast the engineer, equipment, and 'olah'(?) process), and that the Indo pengusaha is now very rich and successful"

Oh my ass, it's another kind of penjajahan for natural resources, they take half of the mines away for their own good, because like that, it's way cheaper for them to get the resources. And after they finish the processing and make them into product, you lots buy it from them with elevated price. Nice though of 'successful', people. (And I don't kind of believe all those 'private license' thing, and highly doubt that that might be illegal, and isn't Indo famous for the fake papers?) Another version for the penggelapan of gas, oil, and woods logging. Waiiii

Is Indo really merdeka? Why's the resouces're keep stolen, still, but this time by Indos themselves. Oh stupid folks---

 

ADDTN: When I thought that the jockey-job in Jakarta was 'oh?' enough, it made me go speechless when I was in my hometown seeing an ad written on the wall that read:

"Tim pemburu preman. Anda diganggu preman? Hubungi [cellphone number]"

O___o

August 15th, 2008

Ever heard about ghost festival? It's today, and we're still having stories about ghosty-ghosty things, on the upperfloor, with only us and cats. (And if the cat would have meowed to nothing, then we're going to scream like crazy)

Anyway, whatever that is, somehow the story take a turn to each other's dorm, and how every year it would minta korban, at least 1 person would suicide (wonder why, wonder it it's related at all, but it does have that pattern for years now) and then how places with giant, old tree is nice & comfortable, and can turn scary at the same time.

I don't know why story about pohon pisang & pohon beringin are so popular when related to these kind of story that has tree role. In oriental saying, though, they would perceive them as tree of 'Yin' basis element, and let the deceased's soul rest there; kinda like peaceful feeling of 'coming home'. And those sulur of the Beringin tree, I ever heard of some ethnic people perceive it as the tree of life/birth (those 'sulur' as the umbilical cord's representation, and that the beringin is the source/origin for the life)

Oh, did I ever mentioned that in our town there're Beringin trees scattered in all direction of the place? They're big and cool ^_^

 

Trivia: It seems this period is the mating season for cat (?), and the cats on the back alley of my house meow like crazy, searching & asking for mate (hauhauhua), and the neighbouring that has lil'kid would go angry-angry, and splash water to the cat to get them shut up o__o;;
Oh, and that happened almost every day at around 9 pm

If it's home, then it's about comfort & laziness~ nice food and long hour of sleep~ hauhauhauhau

Then comes all the random stuff

 

After long talk about stuff, suddenly conversation are stirred:

Lil' bro: Sis, you should take more care about your appearance
Me: ? Something wrong?
Lil' bro: Put more effort on berdandan.
Me: I do dress up, if I go out '__';;
Lil' bro: D: (you call that dress up? ;__; )
Lil' bro: AND WHY THE HECK CAN YOU BUILD UP MUSCLE SO FAST!!?? ARENT YOU A GIRL???
me: I wonder, too '__';;

He actually have his hair grown longer than mine, this time. o___o;;

But pls don't compare between me and you in term of appearance; even from the younger age you're so pretty in lots of aspect ;__;
/me KO

Then, after cut off for long years, more or less has to do with our holding 'mini' grudge for those years after broke up in insane way, because both of us are crazy in some meaning --- and after a small reunion.

ex: Wow, such a long time :D
me: yea, such a long time :D
ex: ?? Where's your hair? 'o'
me: I left it home :D
ex: Oh I see I see XD

ex: So, what is it? For the sudden visit ^^
me: ya? Eh, it's not. It's all well planned, but they screwed up, they always have endless excuses you see.
ex: ... :D?
me: Oh, anyway, the main reason! Know what, I was dreaming, about us
ex: Is that a ghost adventure we're having?
me: D:
ex: Is that serious?
me: Do I sound like joking?
ex: Don't you always do? '__'
me: ;___;!!

ex: So? So? What did we do? >D
me: Talking. I forgot the detail. Anyway, in the end, we have a peaceful handshake, so it means it's settled, right? XD peace, peace ^^v
ex: O__o;; huh?
me: So, then, it's settled, it's a peaceful handshake! \o/
ex: Yay, a peaceful handshake \o/
ex: And that mean you've forgiven me, right? I'm sorry for those 'yang lalu-lalu'
me: Yah, and me too, same here. Sorry for cold shoulder before ^^;; It probably isn't that heavy a matter compared to some more important things to care about (I kind of want to punch you before, to be truth ^^;; )

But it's a good thing that things settled; It's lighter this way and whatever I'm going to do next will be of much about myself, then. Because another chain's released.

 

And, talking about dream:
After some small chat with mom, now I somehow able to recognize "the person" that was sitting on the end of another bed in the hospital the last time I was 'able' to saw "what is not". And that he alleviate my sickness and 'save' me from being 'dragged', as how my mom prayed for it.
A person that's always in his favorite blue T-shirt, who is actually my granddad (from mom's side) that has passed away long before I was born; of whom I wanted to meet so much, a hero of his time.

Thank you very very much.

 

It feels kind off... weird. When you think everything has changed, every and everything, different.

But then, when you turn back your head, everything was back to how it always has been, again. Again, again, again. All those familiar person and things, and expression and words and gestures and things you do together.

It's comfortable to feel again all those familiarity, but also confusing. It's something like, "Huh? Where are we, again?"


We're all going toward different direction, in different pace. Everything has changed, actually. But the time between all of us seem to freeze just like that, and even looping all those missing part, it seem just like yesterday. The pause button's pressed, and left for a long time, until we come to release it again. Then the missing part is filled with stories, or sharings, or teaming up doing things, or the usual activity that used to be the routines, or just stick to each other doing nothing.



It feel so natural, yet so awkward.




It's confusing, kinda.





...and where's my sense of time, again?

No no no I'm not filthy. T__T it's messy, but it's clean, really.

The last time a bee come in the room and linger around me (flying on top of my head in circle, or just flying around me) for about half an hour.

D=

No I don't smell like flower (well, maybe like weird herb, actually) and don't come near me, I don't like bugs. Why it even ignore the honey and perfume?


And why the number of spiders that come to spin their home around my bed keep increasing? O__o;;
It's clean, I swear-