yabs

I've learned so much
About the truths in life

We get what we wish for
But not exactly how
Or even when
We want or expect it

I've learned the hard way
About the truths of love

We love the thought of love
We fail because of it
Waiting for decisions and approval
That should be found within ourselves

I've learned by experience
About the truths on hate

Anything can lead to hate
Hate is all-consuming
And can be fueled easily
But ultimately, hating is a matter of choice

I've learned with regret
About the truths surrounding failure

We hate failing in our goals
Because we fear vulnerability
It opens us to the reality
That our dreams can hurt us

I've learned beyond measure
About pain and confusion

We can't avoid being hurt
Pain is a hard way to learn a lesson
It makes us doubt our ability to decide
By letting wrong defeat right

I've learned in my own special way
About trust and doubt

We try so hard to trust
Because we think doubt is negative
In truth, right and wrong actions
Are borne from doubt and trust

I've learned by acceptance
About letting go and moving on

We talk about letting go
We hear about moving on
Yet thinking of facts and counting time
Prevents us from it

I've learned so little about so many things
That I can always start but never finish

But the things I've learned have humbled me, by showing how irrepressible life is and how helpless we become as a result of our attempts to take too much control.

yabs

Though the feelings
Are quite intense and undescribable
Though the words
Are sweet and sound genuine

Each moment
Is like magic and butterflies
Exactly how you want it
Perfectly romantic yet again

But knowing yourself
And how quickly you fall
Reeled in by the New, by Words
By Being nice and by Romance

Once again, against all odds
Like all the stories before this
A pattern so predictable
That it's essence becomes meaningless

Committing the same acts just like before
Aggressively jumping purely by impulse
Acting exactly the way you do
When faced with the nice and sweet

How do you know
If this is real?
How can you trust
Your judgment?

In your heart
You know this sin
Though you may act blind to it
It will always be there

This is not love you have addressed
It is desire that has been satiated
It is fear that you avoid
Something lacking that needs to be filled

The desire for romance
The fear of being alone
The need for external validation
The feeling of being wanted by someone else

All has been predictable so far
Everything has been dictated by attitude
True Love versus Known Behavior...
Which one governs?

So how can you be sure
That this is what you think it is?
When it follows a foreseeable pattern
That is so obvious and can reoccur?

Something that has happened before...
So how do you know its real?
How can you trust in something
That is reliably unreliable?

yabs

Tigas ng Ulo
Sama ng Loob
Pagsisising hindi dumating
Kahit umabot na sa ganito

Totoong pag-ibig daw
Salitang walang laman
Huwad na panalangin
At kahihiyang walang hangganan

Sumunod ba sa plano
Ang kinahinatnang ito?
Sobrang kaligayahan ba
Ang inabot ninyo?

Pikit na tinanggap
Buong pusong luluhod
Dahil kayo'y nanalo
At ako'y nai-taboy

Palakpak at hiyawan
Ang natatanging premyo
Mula sa sakit at galit
Na sa aki'y naidulot niyo

Magpaka-saya ng todo
Magbunyi sa kalangitan
Mag-diwang na ngayon
Ang kahihiyan ay di nakikita

Ako'y nagmistulang tanga
Naghirap dahil inyo
Panahon ba ulit
Para sa pananakit na bago?

Unti-unting pinapatay
Ginagawang baliw
Ang aking pagkatao
Na matagal na pinag-dusa

Kayo'y makasarili
Bulag sa sariling pagkakasala
Kunwari'y mangmang sa pangyayari
Sinungaling sa harap ng iba

Katangian ng mga taong
Walang respeto
Makasarili at mapanakit
Walang takot sa Diyos

yabs

Commonly stated
Commonly in a state of err
So often heard
Overlooking underlying factors

They are old enough
To make their own decisions
They are no longer children
Just leave them alone

I do not think that way
Nor do I believe in full control
I am a failure
A glorified loser

I am old enough
I am not a child
But apparently
I make terrible decisions

That alone
Is proof enough
That age
Does not imply good judgment

Yet I have beliefs
Ones worth a second or two
Even the aged
Need guidance

Mistakes are avoidable
The correct path
Requires a steady heart
And an open mind

Forgive me
If I gave advice
I apologize
If I watched over you

But my goal is simple
To ensure that you are safe
Safe from others
And safe from yourself

You are old enough
To make your own decisions
Now it is time to learn
How to make the right ones

No more self-destructive situations
None so poorly thought-out
No more causing others pain
No more doses of anguish

Please be guided by yourself
And others who have moral decency
Do not suffer for petty romance
Or the weaknesses you've always had

Do not seek out
others like yourself
Or those who simply
Dispense approval

Run away
From the illusions that blind you
From the wrong that may hurt you
From me and my once hopeful heart...

yabs

You'll reach a point in your life
Regardless of your age
When you conclude
That this is the absolute end

Where everything you hold dear
No longer matters
When all your desires and hopes
Cease to push you on

You can no longer cry
Nor feel any sliver of joy
All you see is shades of gray
Failing to see the colors of life

Everything majestic,
To you is mediocre
Everything inspiring
Pushes you to give-up

All the love in your heart
Equates to disappointment
All the dreams you have
Transform into nightmares

All you see in the beginning
Is the inevitable end
All that life brings
Eventually leads to death

The madness of the world
Becomes so normal
And the normal
Becomes sub-standard

All you want to do in your sleep
Is to stay wide awake
And the times you are awake
You just want to close your eyes