thank you so much for everyone who have shown concern.. i really appreciate all that..

he had suffered too much for a little tiny puppy.. no one could ever be so strong to endure the pain that he was in for such a long period of time..

i'm proud of him for being a fighter, right to the very end...
i was told that little Hachiko, was actually in pain the entire night.. as he cried and whimpered throughout the night.. and he held on, as though waiting for us to be home to bid our farewells.. but the pain was too overwhelming for his little body to endure.. he waited until past noon and finally slipped away...

i visited his tiny little grave last night..dear's dad buried him behind the hse..dear and i gave him his favorite treats and his two favorite toys.. his tennis ball and chew toy.. and sprinkled some flowers over it as well..it was a cool night..peaceful..

and i said a little prayer and made peace by accepting the loss..
and right after i went back indoors, it began to rain.. heavily..
it was as though little Hachiko waited for us to come and meet him for the very last time..before allowing the rain to come..

it would've been difficult to go and visit his grave if it had been raining..
i guess that was his special way of saying goodbye..

the road to recovery won't be easy i guess.. returning home to see his food bowl and water bowl there.. and his favorite towel laying in the living room.. and basket full of his food and treats and shampoo.. his hair brush still have tiny clumps of his fur.. it's just kinda hard..

time will ease all pain..i'm gonna miss that little boy for a long, long time..

p/s: please DO NOT recommend your friends who would want to send their pets to this particular vet by the name of Dr. Loh in Chai Leng park, the one right behind the 'Rich Man's market'.. he operates from a house.. please tell them to NOT go there.. i found out a little too late, cos apparently he has a reputation of providing wrong diagnosis and has killed quite alot of dogs, and especially puppies..

I lost my dalmation, Judy, somewhere in February this year..she has spent 8 years with my family and I.. one day she went missing, and the next thing we know.. we found her lying by the nearby field, dead..it was as if she knew that her time was up, and she decided to move away from the people she loved, to die.. alone.. maybe she thinks that we would probably grieve too much should we see her breathe her last breath..

i cried the day i got the news.. cried so hard.. the pain never seemed to cease.. its a heart-wrenching kinda pain.. unbearably hard to breath just the mere memory of her.. it took me days.. and weeks.. to actually be able to think about her and not shed a tear..

after that very day.. i thought i would be able to handle this kind of scenario better..

i was wrong.. sooooooo very wrong..

dear got us a siberian husky puppy on 30th Sept 2008..he was 1 1/2 months old.. we named him, Hachiko, based on the name of a faithful Akita dog in Japan.. and he was such a joy to have, to hold and to love.. he was such a darling with his creamy whitish brown coat and his beautiful baby blue eyes.. we loved him from the very 1st day itself.. and everyone in the family who came and saw him, was nonetheless smitten by his cuteness and cheekiness..

it was a wonderful sight to come home after a long day at work.. to see a 4-legged tiny furball sleeping by the door waiting for your return.. to just cuddle and play with him.. and he could perform his tricks well, to sit, stand, shake his paws and laying down at command.. at such a tender young age..

2-3 weeks later.. he began to lose his appetite.. we didn't suspect anything amiss for the breeder told us that he had been given the necessary vaccinations and dewormed as well..
by the end of 3rd week, we got really worried, as he barely ate his food and was not passing his stools and urine as often as before.. and his body became rather bloated.. we began to suspect it was worms..

hence we took him back to the same vet, and he insisted that there was no worms present and said that his kidneys and stomach was inflamed possibility of ingesting toxic chemicals.. but we took precautions to not have any chemicals around.. so there was no reason he could have ingested any.. but since he's the doc,hence we did not argue with him.. he gave him an injection which supposedly could improve his blood circulation and some herbal liquid to detoxify his kidneys and liver..

little Hachiko's condition did not seemed to improve.. he got weaker.. barely ate and was sleeping alot..

dear's dad took Hachiko to another vet.. And he was aghast by the condition of little Hachiko.. he checked Hachiko's medical card.. and apparently he was given half the required dosage for his vaccination.. and that he had not been dewormed properly.. after evaluating him, he said that little Hachiko only had 30% of survival chance left in him..he prescribed some medication to improve his condition..if he survives for 3 days on this medication, he would have a better chance of surviving..

dear's mum and sis in law offered to care for Hachiko.. and they helped to care for little hachiko while we were away at work..

on day 1, which was yesterday night, Hachiko began to vomit horrendously upon taking the medication.. and all his vomit contained worms.. worms of ALL SORTS OF TYPES & SHAPES & SIZES.. he was all weak and feeble.. and even in a state of semi-consciousness, he still wakes up, lifts his head and opened up his eyes to greet us when we called to him.. and upon knowing that we're there, he gently closes his eyes and falls into a deep slumber..

day 2, 30th Oct 2008.. Hachiko cried througout the night.. he was in too much pain.. he was groaning and eevryone felt helpless for not being able to ease his pain.. we prayed hard that he would pull through..

he finally breathed his last breath at 12.45 noon..little Hachiko has left us forever..and I was not there for him.. but at the very least, he did not die alone or unloved.. he was surrounded by people who loves him as dearly as us.. he has pulled the heartstrings in all of us.. and although he is tiny in size, but the size of his heart and his courage to fight, certainly did not match up to his little body..

i failed.. i thought i would be able to handle my emotions better.. but i failed..

i cried.. cried so hard till i couldn't catch my breath.. even at the slightest thought of him now hurts badly..

i cried for all the future activities that we cant experience together..

i cried for not being able to see him grow up..

mummy and daddy will miss you little Hachiko..

we love you..

now and always....

i've completed my studies..

i've turned 23..

thank you dear for the birthday song at the stroke of 12 midnight.. i love u baby..

thank you miss chua for the lengthy phone call.. reminiscing the past.. we can sorta go on and on talking about the good 'ol school days.. and tuition boys and the havoc we had in class..

thank you for all those who have sent sweet messages and birthday wishes.. for keeping me in your thoughts..

i've spent a decent amount of time at home.. in the comfort of home with family members and with little baby girl..

i received a call today informing me that i've been offered a pretty good position in a reputable company..

life is good..

and i'm grateful for every moment of it..

the 3 years of studying is finally coming to an end.. and i thought this day will never come..

relieved? i certainly feel that way.. more glad than ever before..

varsity life hadn't been all that bubbly and flowery for me.. maybe it was just me.. or not.. whatever..

or its just a matter of me being in the right place at the right time.. right or wrong, it doesn't really matter..

at least i know, the only right thing i did here, was to secure a degree and join the working world in a matter of weeks.. that's what's important isn't it..? that's the only reason i put up with all these crap.. :D

i think i've done alot of growing up within these 3 years here.. i don't and couldn't be bothered with petty/trivial matters.. i've learnt to 'walk away'.. and sometimes, walking away is the best thing to do.. it hurts less that way.. and people can't hurt you too.. 

during this period of growing up, i've learnt to be defensive.. and i wasn't like that last time back in school.. i am an agreeable person.. which is supposedly good, but not good for the ruthless outside world..  being on defensive mode is a good thing.. i guess one needs to defend and protect oneself as you grow older as people can be nasty at times.. AND other people cant be changed..but we can change ourselves instead to adapt to it..

am being defensive but i make allocations for people that deserves my attention and priority.. people that i trust and have faith in.. people that i love and care about..

i am just FREAKING glad that's it is all gonna be over in a matter of weeks~!!!

I AM GONNA GRADUATE ~!!! WOO HOOO~!!!

p/s: am in the midst of shifting out as well.. am no longer staying in the rented house in SP and i've cleaned my room.. shall be shifting my belongings back anytime soon, most probably right after my last term paper next week. gonna bid farewell to both my nice housemates, Sin Ling and  Jermyn.. it was a nice feeling to re-connect and chat like the good old days during a sudden blackout last few weeks ago.. it may have been a short period of conversation, but it was definitely worth cherishing..

p/p/s: and the OLYMPICS Opening Ceremony was pure, surreal AWESOME-NESS~!!!!! 've watched the entire programme from 8.00pm to close to midnight with my mouth gaping and dumb-struck with all the special kung-fu-hu-ha effects.. apparently the whole ceremony was choreographed by the famous Chinese director Zhang Yi Mao.. makes me proud to be a Chinese..

my brain's all muddled up.. but it'll sort out on its own.. eventually..

bah..

3 - 4 weeks of lectures left to go.. due date of thesis coming up..

no wonder the brain's all muddled..

i think my entries are getting duller by the day cos of all this muddled thoughts..

other than that..the only possible reason i can think of is that am getting old and am losing my sense of humor and creativity.. LOL..

recalled a random word, "cappuccino dog.. " which came out of the blue that day.. that was a wonderful day..

found a nice picture of not-so-baby-anymore-Rinchen and me..and the sister at the back adjusting her hair..