A World Within Her Dreams

There are things not meant for mortal eyes. Online playground of a twisted soul. The fantasies of a little girl, all in one place. You have been warned.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.

This blog and everything in it is my property otherwise noted. Read this disclaimer before anything else. I don't force you to read or agree with what I put or write here, so if you see something you don't like, you are more than welcome to close this window. Of course if you do see something you like, you're not allowed to copy, reproduce or take it without my consent—a simple tagboard message about it will do. Break these simple rules and you'll prove yourself to being the biggest ass in the world.

And please bear with the grammatical and typographical errors here. If there's one thing I hate aside from math and glue is copyreading, proofreading, or anything that has to do with checking whatever I've written, really.

The Unwakeable Dreamer

ユキ. Cattleya. Chantal. 17. Taurean. Vain. Narcissistic. Fangirl. Dreamer. Devious. Childish. Clumsy. Has an incredibly short attention span. Stubborn. Misunderstood. Undisputed HYDEist. Yaoi. Incest. Artist. Writer. Web/graphics designer. Otaku. RPer. Certified fangirl. Worth $2,135,822. II - ICTM. Hates Loathes anything Korean and hiphop.

Current Desktop

Yume no Naka's Perfect Moment

32nd layout of Yume no Naka. Features HYDE and his lyrics. Shades of blue, pink, white and lavender. Used Adobe Photoshop CS2 as the image editor. Coding was made on Notepad. Div layers. Some elements might not be compatible with IE. Best viewed in Mozilla Firefox with a 1024x768 screen resolution. Go to past layouts?

Resources for this layout were from the following: Cbox, Colorfilter, DaFont, iMood, Miss M, Photobucket, Selphie's World, Tabulas, and Tenshi no Koe.

And no, as much as I want to be, I am not associated with the sexy man in this layout. I am merely a fan and this is my expression of adoration to him.

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Lighter side of things

Yeah, let's go to the lighter side of things, because apparently I'm not as sleepy as I thought I was. Actually I just wanted to share the dream I had earlier before the day ends, or at least, before my day ends. Wow, first time I'm writing about my dream in like... I dunno, months? And I'm not kidding too. Apparently the last time I wrote about my dream was December last year.

Anyway, my dream is, finally, a Gazette related dream! This probably means I'm a real Heretic now (their fan club is called Heresy, lol) because it sure took me a long time before I had my first HYDE dream. Actually I can't remember much of the dream anymore. The only thing I can remember is that the faculty head of my org was kinda telling me to do something while I was boarding an elevator, and when I reached the ground floor I immediately headed out together with some family members and some others and then I conducted this concert. The stage was all pink and for some reason it actually didn't creep me out. Well anyway while singing I asked for help from my family, and some of them went on stage and did a dance number. The crowd liked it, but I thought they weren't liking it so I asked for some help from my companions. One of them went on stage. And who was he?

EEEEE. No, not anybody from Gazette but instead it was Miyavi! He was wearing his outfit from Subarashiki Kana, Kono Sekai. So he went up the stage and then, surprisingly, positioned himself at the very corner of the stage, like there was somebody he didn't want to upstage. And then I asked for more help, and finally Gazette went on stage. I think I only saw three of them actually walk to the stage, Kai was one of them, but I couldn't tell the rest. I think Reita wasn't in the concert itself. If I had to guess, only Kai, Uruha, and Aoi were the ones I saw go up.

The dream ended with my mother nagging me to wake up and telling me how I don't value the education she's giving me. Well anyway, I said it was a Gazette dream, but actually it was more of a Miyavi dream because Miyavi actually got more 'screen time' than any of the Gazeboys. But since my current fandom in music is the GazettE I'm highlighting them more, haha.

Also I had this sudden urge to write fiction. So I'm gonna satisfy that urge by writing something directly on this text box thingy. So if it ends up crappy I hope you forgive me, lol. Well, here goes. It's a fic about my character Kiyomine and his... err, lover, Kumi. Don't worry, this isn't NC17 so yeah, but hints of sex are there, and the language is kinda rough. But really, it's just... somewhat fluff? Also if you need some sort of visual aid just remember that Kiyo-chan takes the appearance of Gazette's Aoi and Kumi-chan takes Miyavi's. So. Onto the short fluff.

(Smile)

Yay impulse to write~ but man, that took me almost an hour to finish? Gawd I must really be bad at this.

Misplaced anger again

I have shiny black hair which I like to wear all over my face -- well, at least, my eyes. I like wearing cryptic, gothic stuff. I write things that are not of the norm. On top of that, I listen to music that would make your mortal ears bleed. BUT I AM NOT FUCKING EMO. >_<

Well okay, I know people know that I'm not, but I just get pissed whenever I'm called that. What's worse than an emo person is being called an emo person. Like, WTH, SRSLY. Just because I blurt out in class that I've written something about being scared of going to sleep doesn't mean I'm fucking emo. I'd rather be stereotype as 'that geek' or 'that anime loving person' than emo. Everybody has their stereotypes, but emo is not mine, just so we're clear.

---

I've pretty much figured out how freedom of speech actually works. Well, of course the fact that everybody is entitled to their own opinion is pretty much established. So you express something you want to express, and if you're lucky, nobody would oppose. And if you're really lucky, somebody might actually agree with you. But eventually somebody will hate it from the bottom of their hearts, and they'll either make a scathing comment to it or write an article of their own, bashing yours.

Now, freedom of speech still applies to them, just as it does to any other person. Usually this results to a lot of drama just like what I've seen in some LJ communities because the cycle never ends. So, the only way we can stop drama here is to not respond to any comment. Or something along those lines.

---

Well, I'm kinda sleepy already, and I can't concentrate on watching this movie if I write some more, so yeah. >>;;

Misplaced anger, haha

In some way or another, I really am an elitist bitch. This is not to be attributed to my being a Lasallian, because I've been an elitist bitch way back I entered DLSU-M. People might not notice it, but I do. Just that I don't blatantly show it, or bothered informing people about it. So I'm doing it now. Actually Jem of Jemjabella.co.uk reminded me that I've been wanting to write something about this.

You might be wondering how come I proclaim being an elitist bitch when some time in the past I've expressed deep loathing for anything elite, like the fact that I didn't want to enter that university at first and that I find elite web cliques pointless and degrading to other web designers. Actually, I only see myself as an elitist bitch whenever I come across anything that has to do with what I do, namely, writing, web design, and graphics design.

When I see works related to the things I mentioned that I don't like, I usually don't express any extreme emotion of disgust or disappointment, but in the depths of my brain I'm already either a) screaming swear words that would possibly scare the hell out of your ancestors, or b) laughing my ass off. It's always been like that, so even if I show blank emotions over something I say I don't like, be a skeptic. If I say I don't like you, you might as well consider yourself hated by me. Just kidding, haha.

Really though. When I see a bad work I just cringe. My left eye twitches and my right brow raises whenever I do. I've been writing for almost four years now and web/graphics designing for about five so I know that I pretty much know the good, the bad, and the ugly with regards to those fields. The criticisms I construct in my head can make you cry worse than Satan can do in his eternal lifetime, but of course I never say/write any of them out loud, and end up expressing something really nice because I'm a saint like that.

For one I tend to be a grammar nazi. I notice the teeniest of mistakes in sentence construction and pull my hair at every misspelled word I see because I'm actually more of a spelling nazi than a grammar nazi. So yes, I do cringe at those horribly constructed English comments on my Friendster page but then mentally laugh afterward because I pity the commenter for trying to match my gosh-awesome English skeelz. Please, just use Filipino or Taglish, okay? That'd be easier for the both of us. I don't go beheading people who don't leave comments in English anyway.

And of course, I'm a pretty harsh web/graphics design critic. I actually have this standard of a good web/graphic work in my mind, so if you don't think we're on the same page, I guess that's okay since everybody has their tastes. I like this ethereal, beautiful style, so if you're more of a grunge person I might say I don't like your work, but don't be offended (much). Be afraid though because I think I'm liking grunge. I will know if people just copy and pasted random images and brushes on a .PSD file and call it a layout because it looks like a layout (did that make sense?), and scoff at that. And just so you know, I don't like the Bevel/Emboss/whatever setting on the Blending Options, so don't go shoving your work to me if it has that lest you want it to have a virtual puke, if that's possible. Simplicity is the key, my good man.

Now that you've read about my being an elitist bitch you might say "OMG YOU'RE SO MEAN WHEN YOU'RE GUILTY OF SOME OF THE THINGS YOU MENTIONED RANTRANTRANTDRAMA." Well, yes, although I am an elitist bitch, I too am human and I err. I misspell and get my grammar mixed up from time to time. In the first place, I hate grammar but given the proofreading/copyreading/writing seminars that I've attended, I can't help being a grammar nazi. Although I do admit to these mistakes, I'm pretty sure that my written works are very tolerable and will not, in any case, make you want to gouge your eyes in horror. There are days when I get conscious of what I write and edit them whenever I notice any mistakes, but most of the time I just don't give a damn. Whenever I read my blog archives I most certainly cringe, but LMAO anyway because I know I've gotten better than that over the years.

As for web designs, I'm also guilty. There are times that I copy-paste a random image and throw in pretty brushes <cough>Yagami Light layout</cough> for the sake of having a new layout, but I'm trying my very best not to do anything similar to that again, and this is the reason why I've been keeping HYDE's face here for more than five months now. Graphics I can't say much because I'm already pretty awesome in it, haha. Really though, I spend more time in my smaller graphics now, and I'm happy with my current style. And I'm not guilty of just pasting brushes/textures in them.

This doesn't mean you should be scared of showing anything to me. In fact, I put my words in the nicest way possible whenever commenting and all that. If I don't like something I just ignore it, but if I really don't like something I let the author know. And also I have a very short attention span so I'd usually just forget whatever it is that I don't like. Just don't show it to me often else I really won't be able to let go. I don't bite, and that's all that matters.

Yay camwhoring. xD

OKAY BLOG TIEM NAO

(Have you noticed I've been starting my posts with caps locked sentences lately? Just a tidbit xD)

Well, it's been so long since I blogged, and my LifeStatus says I'm only 'probably alive.' Well, my bitchy internet is still... well, bitchy, and I didn't think I'd have something to blog about, until I made this chibi drawing of the GazettE. But school and Smart Bro kept me from blogging. But now I present to you teh adorable Gazechibis (plus MYV, by the way). Yaoi abound, but very adorable yaoi, might I add. <3

It just saddens me though that Cherry Blossom had to go on hiatus. Well, I had a post whipped up for my Kiyo-chan then earlier today when I logged in I saw the admins had it on hiatus. Can't blame them since a lot of the members were disappearing -- including me, because like I said, internet is screwed lately.

Let's see... what happened to me for the past week. Man, I really should start writing tidbits about my day in my planner so I'd have something to write on a post like this one, where I could summarize everything and stuff. Well, for one I managed to draw that adorable Gazechibi pic last Monday while we waited for out new SPEECOM (speech class) professor to arrive. Yeah, our class actually had our old professor expelled from the university, at least that's what I heard. Computer Studies students shall not be messed with. *nods*Also I remember this horrible brownout during DIGIMED (digital media class) due to the rain. Of all times to have a brownout, it had to be during a subject where we actually need electricty.

Hmm... Tuesday and Wednesday I can't remember anything, well except that I stayed at school until around 5:30 PM last Wednesday (all my classes were finished by 11:20 AM) comforting a blockmate by accompanying him to go foodtripping. Well, his story is like this. He's a member of the Animo Squad (Pep Squad + La Salle Dance Company [LSDC] Jazz and LSDC Street) so he had to be at school at 7AM, even though he had classes at 8. So he attended his first class which was until 9:30, and he was already quite pissed off because he still had to wait until 1PM for his next class. And then 1PM came, but his professor didn't show up, so he was even more pissed off because he still had to wait for 5 hours for his training. But then 4:15 came, and there was an announcement that classes were suspended due to the heavy rains (which actually became tamer around that time, haha). So he prayed that his training at 6PM wouldn't be cancelled due to that, just so his waiting wouldn't be wasted.

But alas, his prayers fell on deaf ears. LAWL.

Thursday... hmm. Yesterday we had pizza during our bible study. Yum~ But that was because our BS teacher facilitator, Dr. Ada, is going to Australia next week to teach there for around three months. Still, we're gonna miss her, because she's like the best management professor we've ever met. <3

(CAMWHORE PART BEWARE)

Well, that's pretty much my week. Full of camwhoring and rain. How was yours? =3

Meme~

And now to respond to Itachi's tag. ^^

RULES
A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.

B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

C. Notify the person who have tagged you that you've posted this to your blog.

(Heeeeeeeere~)

I tag neechama, Biey-chan, Donna, Hime, Loval-chan, Nelson, Shan-chan, and Tara.